


Troubleshooting The Toxin Town

by GothMoth



Series: Prompt Fills [5]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Amity Park is a government experiment, Biological Warfare, Biological Weapons, Chemical Weapons, Danny is scary, Gen, Ghost King Danny, Government Conspiracy, Government Experimentation, Guns, Human Experimentation, Poison, Stabbing, Threats of Violence, adult danny, explaining why Amity Park is so odd, explaining why Amity's people are so weird, toxins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 19:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20087488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothMoth/pseuds/GothMoth
Summary: Who knew the stench of all things deadly, would have led to fine suits, apples and Phantom becoming a political force.





	1. Noes Knows Foes

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Creator: danphanwritingprompts  
Prompt: They’ve been poisoned, but they don’t know it yet

Danny squints his eyes, he can tell by scent that he’s smelling a neurotoxin, but it’s not any of the ones he’s familiar with. Groaning and tilting his head back, instantly feeling bad for Star and seriously hoping this doesn’t mess her up. For all accounts and purposes it really should, like it really really should. But it won’t...well, probably won’t anyway. 

That’s one of the wonderful aspects Danny’s discovered about ectocontamination. Immunity to, or at least some level of protection from, toxins and poisons. Which Danny can’t help but chuckle over, thoroughly amused by that fact. Shaking his head, “Amity sure is fucking up all the test results, ain’t it?”. 

At this point, Danny finds it almost sad that the government hasn’t given up on its little “testing grounds”. Considering how literally all the test data would be completely irrelevant, largely due to him. 

He was, after all, responsible not only for the majority of the ectocontamination in Amity and in its people. But also for all the ghosts everywhere, which was the cause for the other thirty-five percent of ectocontamination. Then there was the portal, functionally protecting the entire Fenton house and its residents from any of the governments stupid little chemical weapons, even the prototype ones. Though Danny thinks his sister probably enjoyed the side effect of freakishly high intelligence, that she got from one very weird strain of toleune. And he did honestly enjoy his unnaturally bright blue eyes, resulting from a weird mixture of Xalatan, monobenzone, and bleach, that had been disguised as baby vitamins. 

He really did used to feel horribly guilty about his accidental bridging between two worlds that unleashed utter chaos on his town. But now, well, now he knows it was an utter blessing. Sighing as he heads to his locker, sparing one last worried and protective glance towards Star, “honestly, half this freaking town should and would probably be dead by now”. Then he chuckles, because really a large portion of the “residents” of the town actually were dead. Shaking his head, “the ghosties show up enough to be residents at this point”. 

“Fucking right man. Do you think that gives us some major bragging rights?”, Tucker chuckles, overhearing Danny while he had walked up to their lockers, as he pushes Danny’s shoulder a bit; which Danny smirks at him, amused, for. 

“Tuck, it abso-fucking-lutely does”, Danny means this in multiple ways really, not that his friend actually knows that. See, Danny had elected to keep the whole basically everyone, at one point or another, reeking of some kind of toxin or poison or other bioweapons, to himself. Not wanting to terrify his friends, cause fuck did it scare the crap out of him once he figured out what the strange smells were. It still freaks him out when he can actually see some of them on or in people. 

—Two Years Ago—

Danny runs into the bath and flat-out vomits, and he’s not even going to feel ashamed about that, because fuck was this messed up. 

Groaning into the toilet bowl as he clenches his hand around some papers, “I mean yeah it’s fucking weird that my parents could get grants to do basically whatever they wanted to. Hell, they weren’t even asked what the prototypes would be”, Danny slumps to the floor and runs his hand through his hair. Resting his back against the toilet and firmly avoiding looking at the papers, “they got a stamp of approval as soon as they mentioned “biological chemicals” and “potentially to definitely toxic”. Just fucking Hell”. Danny groans again, now knowing that the “toxic” part actually made the official, that approved the grant and insisted they only test anything in a place called Amity Park, eager and happy. He’s guessing the official and the government didn’t expect them to flat out move to Amity, but they obviously didn’t give much of a shit about the health of the scientists or their kids. 

Lifting his hand up and smoothing out the papers, “obviously they don’t give a shit about anyone’s fucking health, fucking bastards”. Glaring at the paper, at the proof of what Amity Park actually was. Now officially more angry than nauseated, which likely had to do with the fact that there was nothing left to throw up, growling at the papers, “we all like to think America is so much better than this damn crap, we’re all just goddamn fucking stupid”. Smacking his hand on the papers, “fucking testing grounds! Just going ahead and fucking damning an entire town! Intentionally! Just to have some damn leverage in some potential future war!”. Sure the threat of some other country bombing them to Hell and back was very real. And sure, it’s kind of hard for anyone to bomb you if you’re threatening to wipe out their entire population with a massive stock of biological and chemical weapons, but Danny still finds it fucking horrifying. Especially because he and his friends live here, live in a damn government experiment. An experiment that’s meant to end in the deaths of literally everyone, in varying degrees of painful, disturbing and messy. Gagging again at the knowledge of what exactly mustard gas was supposed to do to people, and they were trying to make a nastier version of it! 

Mustard gas, that was the very thing that had lead him to this discovery. He’s known for a while he could tell when someone was sick, could smell the scent of it. Heck, he could even tell exactly what it was if he was familiar with the illnesses scent. 

And when his family went to some government building, his family snooping at all these different samples of chemicals; dragging him along for the ride. Even with everything being as well contained as it was and him being more than a little uninterested, he recognised a smell and his stomach had dropped when he had read the label of what had the scent. 

He’d hoped that his nose was wrong but the longer he stood there and sniffed as discreetly as he could, the more he’d known he wasn’t mistaken. 

Danny crumples up and throws the top few papers, describing the purpose of the “toxin town”, a town planned to become an abandoned ghost town at the end of all the subjects deaths. Eventually, he’d come to find some humour in that, since the town became a more literal ghost town; but for now, he was just angry, angry and disgusted. 

Staring down at the remaining papers to calm himself some, rubbing his thumb over a couple results and muttering, “I still, Phantom fuck, this is still crazy to believe”, shaking his head, “I mean fuck, I know I’m like the hero and shit, but this? This is fucking extra...and it shouldn’t even be a fucking thing!”. Tossing the papers on the floor and aggressively shoving both hands through his head, “fuck! Goddamnit!”. Flicking his eyes back over to the papers before staring at his shoes, muttering near inaudibly, “I’m literally a walking anti-toxin...but also a toxin myself”. Shaking his head, “who would have thought my half death would save an entire freaking town”. Danny rests his head in one hand and screws his face up, before chuckling faintly and eventually devolving into a laughing fit. Practically crying with his head tilted back to rest on the toilet seat, “if I and the other ghost weren’t ectocontaminating literally everything...we’d all be fucking dead in a few years...”. Chuckling weakly, “death delaying death...god that’s fucked... All of this is fucked”. 

Danny shakily pushes himself to stand up and glares down at the papers, promptly ectoblasting them to Hell. Chuckling slightly before breaking into hysterics again as he staggers out of the bathroom, “the government wanted some new powerful weapon of mass destruction? They fucking got it, but I ain’t ever working for their asses. Fuck ‘em”. Flopping down onto his bed and muttering into the blankets, “I hope whatever bastards approved this crap are fucking happy with my ass screwing up all their “hard work”. Flip a switch to die, flip a switch for an insta-hero, flip a switch to spend the rest of your sorta-life fighting, flip a switch to protect an entire town from its own government...god fuck what even is my bullshit existence...” Danny trails off as he slowly passes out. 

—Return To Present—

Danny smiles slightly as Sam comes up to join them, “so Nasty Burger? And Danny, what the fuck is so interesting about my neck?”. Danny just shrugs and rubs at his neck, was kind of hard not to stare when he could see the little bits of ectoplasm literally eating and tearing apart bits of MRSA bacterium. Especially since it was almost definitely his own shed ectoplasm. 

Danny can’t help but laugh at the thought that it was like the little bits of ectoplasm were “eating”, as they all headed out to the Nasty burger, to eat. 

Smirking knowingly down at his mighty meaty burger, knowing full well it was laced with something or another. Because turns out, that was the real reason for the name of this place. Everything had a nasty surprise in it, in the form of some toxin, poison or biological crap. Sam would probably be pissed knowing that the vegan options actually had the worst of it. 

Sam glares at the three burgers and one wrap Tucker has, “that shit’s going to kill you, Tucker. How it hasn’t already is a medical mystery”. Danny can’t help but snort at this and wheeze into his hand, cause the guy would be dead many times over at this point. The sheer amount he eats, and not just from here, because the cafeteria “food” really truthfully wasn’t food, has lead to the guy having basically every possible horrible thing under the sun... And some that had likely never seen the sun at all. It was a downright miracle that all he had was pupil-less eyes, his meat sense, high intellect, and an unhealthy obsession with technology. 

Danny smirks at Sam, “if anyone should be dead from food it’s my dumbass. Ectoplasm is one hell of a corrosive toxin”. Tucker points at him, “that’s not including all the utterly inedible crap you’ve consumed. Like seriously, how does one guy swallow that many utensils?”. 

“Because he’s a moron Tucker”, Sam rolls her eyes light-heartedly before glaring at Danny, “and Danny you’re literally half made of the stuff, so I don’t think you count. Even if low-key cannibalism is majorly goth”. Tucker groans while Danny laughs a bit. He somehow doubts that he’s never consumed ectoplasm before becoming a halfa. Hell, that could be why his accident didn’t straight up off him. And Vlad well, his accident was minor compared to Danny’s; plus the guy was enough of a frootloop to intentionally consume ectoplasm just to see what happens. Honestly, Danny’s not sure if there’s anything that guy wouldn’t do at this point. 

Heading out the doors, Tucker pushes him lightly with a big ass grin on his face, “so dude, fucking eighteen. Like, come on shits got to feel different. You’re a fucking adult man”. Danny rolls his eyes, it really did change a lot but he was never one to play up things, “it’s whatever Tuck. Still can’t legally drink since this isn’t fucking Canada”. Both of them mutter, “stupid lucky bastards”. While Sam shakes her head, “Danny you’re literally a king, somehow I don’t think anyone’s gonna stop you from chugging shitty vodka or drowning in dollar store worthy wine”. 

“Oh Sam but you’re so rich”, Danny whines, “you’d never leave me to suffer with cheap shit...would you?”, Danny intentionally makes a pathetic looking puppy dog face; while Tucker’s face just lights up. Sam points at them aggressively, “no, I’m not buying anyone liquor. Especially not the local idiot who’s supposed to be running an entire dimension...We don’t need you even more idiotic”. 

“Pfft, it’s not like I even can kill my brain cells. Plus, sometimes drunk decisions are good decisions”. 

“Not when it comes to ruling you fucking idiot”, Danny glares at her a bit before an idea hits him. He’s officially an adult, meaning people, or more specifically human adults, can’t just disregard him anymore. He’s got fucking legal standing and the power to fucking use it. 

Catching both of them look at him worriedly as he gives a devilish smirk. Sam glares, “do I even want to know what stupid decision you just made?”. 

Tucker chuckles, “if it’s a stupid decision then I absolutely want to know”. 

Danny smirks even more at them now, “say...What kind of political standing do you think I have in the human realm?”, Sam frowns deeper at him as he’s flat-out grinning now, “would it be, say, enough to possibly, just maybe, force someone’s hand on something. Fiddle with bills or laws some, maybe say, overrule certain decisions”. 

Tucker snorts before realising that Danny’s genuinely considering something here and promptly falls on his ass in the grass, laughing, “dude fuck, that is a beyond petty use of your position!”. Sam smacks Tucker’s arm, “more like abusive! Laws are laws for a reason!”, Sam rolls her eyes, “besides, you don’t need to literally break the law to break the law. Just use a fake id in another town, Phantom knows you have enough. You damn paranoid fucker”. Danny’s got every right to be paranoid, saved his skin more times than there are stop signs in Amity. Which actually isn’t saying much since most stop signs had been destroyed by his dad, but still. Besides, Danny’s got something else entirely in mind. Smirking again, “oh no, nothing to do with that. I mean it’s still got to do with toxic shit. Just, not the fun kind of toxic shit”. 

Now both of them look downright confused. Danny, shrugging, “there’s a few things I’ve picked up on, being done by some higher-ups, that I’d rather them not”. Sam now looks mildly impressed, likely thinking Danny’s thinking of doing some humanitarian shit. While Tucker just starts laughing again, “do you ever stop being an obsessively protective bastard?!?”. 

Danny, huffing and pointing at Tucker, “it’s literally my obsession Tuck, what more do you want from me”. As far as Danny sees it, it’s a damn good one to have;, especially for the hero type...Even if it did lend to him being a bit too self-sacrificial. 

While Sam sighs, “I’m all for helping out, no clue over what, but I’ve got no clue Danny. You might not have any political standing here at all, Hell Phantom might not even be allowed to vote. King might not mean shit when it’s for a different dimension”. 

And that’s exactly why Danny’s curious, king is still a king but well, humans, especially politicians, weren’t exactly known for accepting (or not taking down) other countries leaders. And that was with human countries in the human realm. But politicians and governments often operated under might makes right. America and other power player countries running around trying to overthrow other countries leaders, made that really obvious. Danny snorts, imagining his own human government attempting to overthrow him, “Sam, I have what is basically an endless army of super-powered dead fucks. I’m not even sure if it matters if I have political standing currently, I could probably force someone’s hand in that regard. But like, I’d like to know how much bullshit I’m in for if I do decide to pull shit”. 

“Danny dude, even I know you whipping out a freaking army to get your way is a bad fucking idea. Us humans don’t exactly like being forced into shit, in case you’ve forgotten”, Danny rolls his eyes at Tucker, he’s well aware of that. Ghosts respect shows of strength like that, humans just resent it. 

“You know he's right, Danny. Dropping an army or hand forcing is just all-around a bad plan. But I’ve honestly got no clue, just ask Jazz”, Danny rolls his eyes at her sigh and also at the prospect of asking his sister. Unlike his friends, she’ll actually actively inquire what this is about. He is not about to tell her about everyone being a bunch of lab rats, especially when she’s halfway through a bout with an Ebola and Anthrax hybrid thing. He’s long since stopped trying to name all the new hybrid and bastardised shit the government is content to test on his town and humans. 

Putting his hands up, “guys, I’m not going to actually order an army on my own country or the human realm as a whole. I’m not grade A fucking stupid”, muttering under his breath, “might have ‘em show up on the Observants doorstep though”. Danny’s still highly unimpressed with them trying to sabotage his crowning, he’s well aware he’s probably got too much fucking power, but those eyeballs should just be happy it’s him who’s the over-powered problem child; not someone like Vlad or Vortex. 

Tucker groans, “please do not start going off about those pricks again. But dude, not sure what other leverage you could possibly have to get whatever. You’re not exactly politically skilled and offering an alliance would also be grade-A fucking stupid”. 

Danny instantly knows how much of a nightmare that’d be, the Zone was literally filled with ghosts from everywhere and allying with any number of human realm countries would infuriate countless numbers of ghosts. Heck, allying at all with humans would be dangerous and dumb, unless it was a momentary thing to save the world or something. Crap he had to do to avoid mutually assured destruction. “No shit Tuck. Ghosts are too prideful to tolerate any kind of human alliance like that. I’d like to think being ghost king and my fucking rep as Phantom, should be enough fucking leverage. I’m not exactly a nobody and, regardless of how good I am, I’m inherently a threat. Intentionally pissing me off or going against me in an official way, isn’t exactly a smart thing to do. Besides, I’m king over an entire dimension, I’ve got to have some political skill”, Danny glares at them, “okay, I’m just going to ignore your disbelieving squinting”. 

“Dude, you’re king because you’re stupid strong and enough of a crazy bastard to fight someone with infinite power, alone. Besides, ghost politics is basically just fist fighting, being flashy and being fearsome”, Danny glares at Tucker, even if the guy is mostly right. 

Danny rubs at his neck, “well I ain’t scary and that actually helps me with dealing with humans. Plus, I have to deal with Vlad; that basically counts as politics at this point”. Danny blinks a bit realising how ridiculously true that was, dude actually was a politician now. 

“Danny, much as we love you, you are actually terrifying. Your insane level of power alone is fearsome”.

“Yeah, I mean dude, you literally pointed that out yourself-”, Danny’s grumbling cuts Tucker off, “that’s not what I meant by that. I help people, I’m less likely to help someone who gets on my bad side. Countries should want to be on friendly terms with me. My strength is just a reason to respect me more”.

Both his friends share a look and speak in unison, “it’s terrifying”. 

At Danny’s glare Tucker rolls his eyes, “and dude, the whole going in and fighting insanely overpowered bastards shit, is scary not just because we worry about your safety dude. You’ll fight literally anything and you’re a mess of unpredictable. That makes you frighteningly dangerous”. Sam points at Tucker, adding in, “and unpredictable, especially unpredictable power, is flat-out nerve-wracking to governments. Whether you’re an ally or foe”. 

Tucker chuckles before continuing, “plus, angry Danny is straight-up terrifying. Awesome but terrifying”. 

Sam nods, “you can level a city by opening your mouth, sure it’s not that simple or easy, but still. In short, you scary...but that’s good”.

Tucker nods encouragingly, “ghosts are supposed to be scary and shit. No ghosties would respect or listen to you if you weren’t fearsome. I mean look at Boxy dude, even you get embarrassed and groan when compared to him”, pointing at Danny, “do you wanna be Boxy dude?”.

“Fuck you Tuck. I could fucking eat Boxy”, both of them snort as Danny blinks and scrunches up his face, “okay fine, point taken. But I don’t think any of this solves my current bullshit. If anything it just points out how much more I could use some information”. 

Both of them roll their eyes at him and practically drag him the rest of the way home before shoving him inside, “Talk. To. Jazz”. 

Groaning and rubbing his head, “you’d think heroes and kings wouldn’t get pushed around so much”. Especially not by people carrying enough toxins and poisons to kill an entire army, gruesomely. And Danny used to wonder why tourists never came to Amity, of course, they didn’t. In the eyes of the rest of the world, Amity didn’t exist and if anyone did sneak in they would be fucking dead. Which is definitely something Danny’s a bit conflicted on, his town and humans are literally a deadly threat. 

That thought gets Danny grumbling again as he heads upstairs, he is, for all accounts and purposes, a half-living weapon of an apocalyptic scale; and so’s his entire human realm lair. But at least he has control over his shit, his town is by default fucking deadly. 

Shaking his head as he pushes his sisters' bedroom door open with his foot, glaring at the floor all the while. It’s not like he needs to look for her, her scent tells him she’s here, “so...whatcha know bout ghost political standing in human politics?”. 

“Danny what? I’m instantly concerned by what brought about this kind of questioning. I mean, if you’re wondering about Phantoms’ citizenship then no, that half of you doesn’t have that. But I’d think that’s rather obvious, so what’s this really about?”, Danny does feel a bit guilty not telling her about his “status” in the Zone and it is currently biting him in the ass, but the last thing he felt he needed was her being overbearing about his job. She already tried, and still tries, to weasel into his hero duties. 

She messed up a lot when it came to ghost stuff, except with human psychology towards ghosts. And as much as others would say he didn’t seem it, he did care about his job and subjects. And that meant the decisions had to be his own, he couldn’t have humans deciding things for him and Jazz would try to do that. Hell, getting advice on dealing with ruling ghosts and ghost politics from a human would be bad news if any ghosts caught wind of that. Ghost ego for the win. And in the end, ghosts were different from humans; what works for humans didn’t for ghosts and being a ghost, even if only by half, gave him an insight to the ghost lifestyle and mindset that a human just couldn’t achieve. He’d have to be a fool to think his brain worked the same as it used to. 

Sighing at his sister, “obviously that’s not it. Pretty sure Phantom doesn’t exactly need citizenship anyway”, shrugging, “naw, I’m more so wondering if, like, a ghost ruler could have any political sway in the human world. If they’d be able to change laws or put a stop to something the human governments doing?”. 

Jazz squints at him, obviously suspicious, “is there someone nasty on the horizon Danny? Is some ghost ruler planning something? If you’re trying to stop someone from toying with the human government then I don’t really think you need to worry about that. Most ghosts who seek to toy with other ruling bodies or groups of people do so by way of might. That’s not going to work with human politics”, Jazz squints further while Danny rubs at his neck and looks around, “but if you’re looking for them to actually be able to change something that’s not going to be easy. If it’s with the ecto act then it’ll be pretty doable, since that actively involves ghosts”. Danny blinks a bit, releasing he probably should do something about that. It is technically dangerous for his subjects and a threat to the Zone, Hell! People working under it have been an active threat to both. He can’t help but smirk a bit at the idea of doing away with the GIW, or at least completely gutting them. 

Shaking his head at Jazz, “naw, not those laws. Not any laws technically. No, more so, overturning a bill. The kind of bill kept secret from the public that I only know about through sneaky, and rather ghostly, means”. Being able to smell it wasn’t exactly sneaky but it would have taken way longer to figure out what the smells actually were if it wasn’t for his parents having access to things the average person simply didn’t. And, of course, the place had been protected by a ghost shield; not wanting ghosts to get their hands on or any information about, something that could basically eradicate humanity. Especially with ghosts being fucking immune, though he’s got a feeling humanity as a whole doesn’t exactly know that. 

“Danny...clearly you’re being all around sneaky about this. Which is definitely not comforting. Something tells me that, if I ask, you aren’t going to be keen on telling me what’s in this bill?”, at Danny shaking his head Jazz sighs but continues, “that's what I thought. Is whoever going to act on trying to remove this “bill” regardless of what you do or say? Because honestly Danny, I doubt any human government would acknowledge or recognise a ghost country, society or leader”.

That was the gut feeling Danny had but there was a damn big difference between someone like FrostBite and the freaking Ghost King. Danny doesn’t say anything as Jazz sits tapping on her chin. Watching as she nods curtly before speaking, “no, I’m certain most wouldn’t. Whoever might get lucky if they’re looking at dealing with the UK, Canada, possibly the USA, or maybe Germany. But otherwise, not a chance. But they’d have to be extremely civil about it and make themselves not too physically imposing. Especially here, the stereotype of us Americans responding to threats with extreme force and prejudice, exists for a reason. The UK is hardly stable right now and Germany will definitely be wary of any possible signs of dictatorship. Canada would be easiest but they won’t be keen to rub any of their allies the wrong way, and that includes us. But both Germany and Canada seem pretty unlikely to have some kind of secret bill that is enough of a concern for any ghost leader to stick their nose in”. 

Danny rubs his head a bit because yeah, politics were not his strong suit. And he’s not about to claim he keeps up with all the political bullshit of different countries, or even his own. Keeping up with ghost bickerings and hero work was handful enough, though he did rather love it. Ghost bickering seemed way more interesting and flashy than human bickering. Which, again, highlighted how different the two societies were. And another thing Danny is all too aware of, is that he has had far more dealings with ghosts than humans. He knew how to deal with ghosts and most ghost stuff, political or otherwise, not so much the case for human stuff. Especially as Fenton had a secret to maintain, and Phantom couldn’t to seem too human, so that resulted in both sides of him trying to avoid being overly public. Doing anything in human politics was brutally public and was notorious for basically giving everyone free range to inspect you for dirty little secrets; of which he had many. 

But this particular issue, Amity being a fucked-up testing ground and it’s citizens being lab rats, wasn’t exactly something the American government would want made public. So Mr. Dirt Bag might be content dealing with this behind closed doors. Plus this was something Danny, as Phantom, very well could make public. Whether he liked it or not Phantom was a public figure and he had sway, his words had more impact. Whether Phantom would be believed or not would be an issue though. Plus, he’d rather not achieve this goal by basically blackmailing his own government. Rejecting such underhanded means was exactly why it was Vlad, not him, who was the human world politician. 

Tilting his head, Danny realises just how shit Vlad would actually be and is with ghost politics. Sure, he could manipulate and pay his way for things, but he wasn’t exactly respected or feared. Blinking Danny clues in that a large part of why was because Vlad dealt with ghosts the same way he dealt with humans. Vlad was underhanded and sneaky, he wasn’t really flashy, brazen or advisory. He really was just another dirtbag human politician, and Danny wasn’t. 

Muttering to himself, with a hand over his mouth, “damn, Vlad genuinely has a leg up on me with this. Well damn”. Jazz snaps her fingers at Danny, “earth to little brother, please bring your spaceship back here and I’m pretty sure you were just muttering about Vlad, again something that’s not comforting. No way he’s the ghost leader you’re talking about. What’s going on?”. 

Danny snorts, that would be a fucking nightmare, “Phantom fuck no, I was just thinking about how Vlad knows human politics and just so happens to be ghostly informed. But also how he’d have better luck making me not utterly hate him than ruling over any section of ghost society”. Jazz snorts and nods, clearly agreeing, though pointing at him, “you know he’ll try to manipulate shit if you involve him. Especially since human politics is one of his things. What could make him useful here is the same thing that makes him dangerous to involve. But again Danny, what’s going on?”. 

Danny nods, “I'm well aware of that, Jazz. Involving him in anything is generally bad, extra bad if it’s something he’s informed on. But, I think we might want the same bullshit on this one”, Danny pauses and scrunches up his eyebrows, it would actually be a bit odd if Vlad didn’t already know what Danny knew. If Danny could smell it then certainly so could Vlad, right? And there’s no way Vlad wouldn’t look into it, wouldn’t figure it out. But then again the guy was a frootloop so logic didn’t exactly apply to him. 

“Danny, that’s also worrying. The only time either of you admits to agreeing and being on the same side, is with extreme issues”.

“Well, I’m not exactly sure he knows the same things I do. If he does then he’s probably already looking to do what I’m doing or he’s way more of a sick bastard than I thought possible. Which, I guess, would be saying something”, Danny decides he’s going to have to figure that out before even considering involving the older halfa. If he doesn’t know, or pretends not to, then Danny won’t even consider telling him. And if he does know but doesn’t care or is using this to his advantage, then Danny’s sure he can find it in him to be disgusted with the man just that little bit more. 

“Danny. What. Is. Going. On”, Jazz is standing in front of him now, making it kind of hard for him to avoid looking at her. 

“I’d really rather not say Jazz. But yeah there’s, like, zero chance of this bill not getting challenged or whatever. And yeah, it’s an American one. And I guess it’s not too surprising one of the ghost nations not really be recognised by the human realm. But...this isn’t, like, the leader of a ghost clan or nation. Think higher up”, Danny’s torn between wincing and chuckling at her critical glare. Yup, he’s getting bit in the ass. But it is kind of fun teasing her with the truth and toying with her; which yes, is very ghostly but whatever, he accepted that side of himself long ago. Humans did that too anyway, so it’s whatever. 

“I seriously hope you are not trying to covertly imply the Observants, even if I don’t know much about ghost politics, even I know those guys being involved with anything beyond sentencing criminal ghosts is extremely concerning. And if you are trying to imply the clock guy, that’s even worse”, Danny can’t help but chuckle, she’s not exactly wrong. Even if he adores ClockWork, him being involved in anything means it’s potentially world endingly serious. Which, Danny guess, if all this crap got out of Amity then it actually would likely be world ending. Muttering to himself in ghost, “huh, I sure have been getting in a lot of high stakes shit...oh fuck I’m becoming a free-form ClockWork”, snickering, “hey look, another reason for those fucking eyeballs to hate me”. 

“You’re muttering again, stop that. Or at least do it in English, it’s rude to talk a language no one else knows directly in front of them”.

“Right right, sorry”, glaring at her slightly, “but you know I just slip into that, you try having two native tongues and one being innately, or whatever, ingrained”. Shaking his head at her eyeroll, “but no, none of them are involved. Thank Phantom for that. And while ClockWork likely has advice on this, I beyond highly doubt he’d tell me. I’d get the usual, I must do it on my own, crap. Which yes, I’m aware is fucking true. Still annoying. And I’d stab out my own eyes before going to those eyeballs for pretty well anything”. Besides, Danny’s certain they’d try to use that as some excuse to try and dethrone him or try to force him to give them more power and control in return. The fact that those fuckers were manipulative bastards wasn’t exactly well known, but Danny knew enough of how they treated his friend to know that they were best left uninvolved whenever possible, and to never make a binding deal with them. 

“Danny, that doesn’t really leave any other possibility then and I still think it’s a poor decision to make enemies out of a massive collection of powerful ghosts. Even if you think they’re dicks”, tapping her chin again, “the only other I know of higher than general ghost royalty is the literal ghost king but I’m certain you said he was sealed away. And from what I saw and heard of him, there’s no way he would be capable of being civil with the human government”. 

Danny snorts loudly, that was a massive understatement. Pariah would load up an army and just fucking trample on everything and everyone. This was also not an issue that fucking maniac would give a damn about. “Obviously not Pariah, Jazz. He wouldn’t give a shit about this and then him being free, again, would be the issue. No, this is more a me thing I guess. It’s technically been an issue for years, just nothing could be done with me being a minor”, shrugging, “well, I guess things could have been tried but somehow I highly, and I mean pretty well completely kind of highly, believe it wouldn’t work out at all. And this is probably a one-shot sort of thing”. Danny’s no fool, him being a minor would get his opinion rejected. Danny had no doubt that many, if not most, politicians were like Vlad in mentality. So they’d use whatever to squirm out of abiding by his “demands”, him being a minor would have been an easy target. 

Danny grumbles a bit, “it’s downright annoying how adults, especially old fuck adults, disregard all minors opinions purely on the grounds of them being minors”. 

“Danny, you’re not wrong on the age thing but I swear, you go out of your way to be an enigma. Which, while great with the general public, is kind of foolish to do with those of us who are supposed to be helping you out with everything”. 

Danny glares her, before snapping, “yeah, well, you tend to stick your nose where you shouldn’t and you can’t be doing that with some of my shit. Most of it actually, but you do it anyway. Which is the fucking issue”. Sure, she probably couldn’t actually get herself more involved in this, everyone being fucking poisoned by the government, shit. He was hiding that purely to not freak people out, which he thinks is damn justifiable enough. 

“And here I thought you wanted my help. Well excuse me for caring Danny”

Danny groans, turning away from her slightly, “no, I wanted advice. Your “help” is exactly what I don’t want here. Your involvement would just risk my secret, possibly get ghosts upset with me, and then those damn eyeballs would probably try to use that as leverage against me”. Danny’s pretty sure it wouldn’t actually get ghosts upset or anything, this was technically a human issue, not a ghost issue. It was an issue with his human realm lair, if anything most ghosts would probably applaud him doing whatever to assert dominance or control over his town; especially in any way that took power away from humans, even more especially if it was being taken away from humans that were not his humans. And he’ll admit that yeah, part of him was bothered by this purely because someone else was sticking their hands in what was his and messing with his home/lair. Plus, it poked at that protective obsession of his; his weird ghostly need. It being humans doing it just made it more frustrating. Ghosts he could at least wail on and they understood what they were doing by fucking around in his lair, plus they were most often fucking with him not directly harming his lair or humans. He knew humans didn’t exactly understand or respect lairs or obsessions, which yes, fucking annoyed him. But he also understood, their minds weren’t made to understand it, to them ghosts were extreme possessive little shits and were disturbingly hyper-focused on their thing. He was still struggling to get his friends to understand that obsessions were more like needs than extreme interests. 

Danny can’t help but twitch in irritation as Jazz talks sternly at him, “getting involved in your everything is my sisterly job, Danny. You have any idea how many times my involvement has saved your hide?”, shaking her head as Danny bares his teeth and snaps, “I’m well fucking aware, but that’s not this ghost shit. This ghost shit is my shit and it needs to stay that damn well”. 

“Danny your “ghost shit” is all of our shit. We’re already involved. And you damn well need us to be”, now Danny finds that downright insulting. He’s been doing a damn good job, which was actually a bit surprising to even him, dealing with Ghost Zone ghost shit; particularly Ghost King shit, since Sam and Tucker actually understood to stay out of it and not fucking push for shit or self insert. His sister didn’t even know the definition of that, as made apparent by her stunt with Vlad; which while worked, was fucking stupid. His kind of stupid but still. If she pulled something like that with his actual job it would be fucking disastrous, regardless of the end result. 

Snapping again, with a slight growl, and getting in her face a bit, “no you lot are not and no you don’t fucking need to be. Sam and Tuck fucking get that, which is why they actually fucking know. You all are involved in my Amity ghost shit, my hero ghost shit. Not my fucking Ghost Zone ghost shit”. Pulling away from her a bit to calm down, especially smelling a bit of fear on her. Turning away from her and running a hand through his hair before turning back around, still rather pissy, “look, no human can be involved with that shit. Not mom and dad, not Sam and Tuck, and not you. Not any human. It doesn’t matter if a humans involvement was immensely helpful, it would be bad. I would get in major trouble. Trouble with literally every ghost”, muttering, “well, except maybe ClockWork but they’re different”, glaring and speaking sternly again, pushing power into his words, “so seriously, butt out of it. There’s nothing but bad outcomes if you, Don’t. Fucking. Butt. Out”. 

The two are silent for a bit until Danny rubs his neck awkwardly, well aware that he thoroughly freaked her out a bit, “I'm going to guess you don’t have any other advice?”. Jazz shakes her head a little stiffly earning a faint groan as Danny walks off to ponder shit with himself. 

Jazz, muttering, “just what the hell have you gotten yourself into, little brother”. Flicking his eyes to look back behind himself a little, promptly reminding her how unnatural her brother’s hearing was, as he smirks, “some bullshit, always some bullshit”, his humoured tone giving away that all was, more or less, forgiven. 

Danny slips into his room while Jazz is left wondering about how much his ghost half affects his emotional consistency. Since he seemed so capable of flipping emotions on a dime, while most folks stewed on one or two at a time. 

Danny sits glaring at his window for only a few seconds but deciding that it’s time to pay Vladdie a visit, partly hoping he had no damn clue about any of this shit. Cause if he did, then this wasn’t going to be easy or “frootloop” is too nice a word to describe the man. 

Zipping out his window he doesn’t get very far, hearing Red shout, “where you off in such a rush Phantom!”. Groaning slightly but more so snickering, he was hardly going cruising speed. Sometimes he felt bad for going so easy on the girl, it would piss off literally all of his other opponents; but they were ghostly, so of course it did. 

“Nothing to concern yourself with, Red!”, it was also annoying having to talk, or more commonly shout, louder at her due to her weaker human hearing; but whatever. 

“You’re a Ghost! Anything involving you concerns me!”.

“And that’s where you’re mistaken, Red! Can’t a guy go for a fly?! Not everything I do is cause for suspect you know!”, sure he was technically suspicious right now, since he was up to shit but that hardly mattered in his opinion. Obviously not the case to Red, “it most certainly is ghost!”. 

Groaning and stopping to face her, hands on his hip, “it ever occur to you that sometimes you get in the way of me helping this town?!”, speaking at a more normal level as she hovers up to him, he’s still happy she’s much less trigger happy nowadays, “Amity is your concern, which includes the ghosts in it yes. But chasing my tail ain’t helping you do that. I’m the good guy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some flying I feel like doing”. Red shouts basically incoherently at him as he turns invisible and dive bombs straight towards, and then into, the ground. Only popping back up near Vlad’s but maintaining the invisibility. 

Danny floats to hover just above Vlad’s desk, scanning the documents he’s working on. After a while, the man lifts his head and squints at the air, “Daniel? What are you up to this time, my boy?”. 

Danny rolls his eyes before popping into visibility, “still not your boy frootloop”. 

Vlad taps on his desk, cleans up the papers, and leans back in his chair, “how long have you been there?”.

“Oh, only about seven minutes”.

“My how you are improving Daniel”.

“Save it old man”, chuckling and shaking his head, “anyway...what do you think about anthrax and MRSA?”. Danny has to restrain his chuckling as the man goes wide-eyed and nearly falls out of his chair, before promptly composing himself, “whatever do you mean my dear boy? I find it rather hard to believe you’ve encountered such things, though I am thoroughly impressed you even known what MRSA is, considering your grades”. 

Danny stares at Vlad a bit, for as manipulative as the man was he was very transparent in ways. Easily seeing the man’s shock was genuine and that his eyes held worried confusion, “I’ve encountered a lot of shit, V-man. I’m not some little kiddie, especially not now. Just figured you off all people would be the kind of fucked-up cluster fuck of frootloops and nutcake to, maybe, see how bioweapons affect us?”. 

“Daniel, my ways may be extreme to you but I do not wish to accidentally destroy myself just to answer my own curiosities. As unhinged as you clearly think I am, I am not an utter madman”, Vlad is bluntly trying to not gape at him now, confirming that Vlad has no fucking clue. Which is kind of sad.

Muttering, “I wonder”, which apparently makes Vlad very concerned looking. Danny tosses a handkerchief at the man, thoroughly amused at the barely hidden flinch. “Daniel, your behaviour is beginning to concern even me”, Danny shrugs before asking, “that smell weird to ya?”. Danny’s even more amused at watching him pick up the handkerchief like it’s personally offended him and trying to touch as little of it as possible. 

Vlad sniffs tentatively at it, far too interested in whatever game Danny’s playing to even consider not doing so, “well, other than this having clearly been in your pocket for far too long and belonging originally to miss Manson. It smells like normal fine silk? What are you playing at here?”. 

Danny raises an eyebrow disbelievingly, because holy fuck he fucking can’t tell. No wonder the bastard doesn’t know. “So...you don’t pick up on the intermingled scent similar to brown sugar, cake frosting, and rotten banana, a second scent like fresh soil and beetles, or a third scent like carbonated fish eggs?”, now Vlad’s the one giving him a disbelieving look; before picking the handkerchief back up and sniffing again more deeply. 

Danny can’t help but laugh at the guys frustrated face, “wow, never figured my senses were better than yours. Maybe I’ll keep that in mind if I ever decide to go bat shit insane and want to poison you”. 

Now Vlad’s wearing a look of slight confused concern again and eyeballing the dropped handkerchief with heavy suspicion. Deciding to throw the guy a bone, because literally everyone, even crazy creeps, should understand their own bodies. Chuckling before giving Vlad a loose smirk, “you’re right to be suspicious of it but, well, it won’t kill ya”. 

Slipping off the desk and plucking up the handkerchief, before stuffing it in his pocket, “in case you’re wondering, which I know you are, ever the scientist like always, Vladdie. This little square gots quite the concoction on it. Anthrax, tapeworm eggs, and a weird bastardised hybrid of bleach and DEET. Grade A fucking deadly, if you don’t have any ectoplasm in your system anyway”. 

Smirking even more at the slight horror in Vlad’s eyes, “neat huh? We’re immune to all that shit. Oh, and by the way, you should be really happy about that. You’ve got, like, six strains of MRSA, swine flu, and Velvet parasites. No clue how you got that last one, that’s kind of a goldfish thing and I doubt you go around eating goldfish in your spare time, but whatever, that’s your issue if you do. But maybe don’t”. 

Danny laughs as Vlad stares at himself incredulously, before getting up and walking off towards his lab coat. Danny, shaking his head, “I’d hurry up if you actually want to see it. Your ectoplasm is basically devouring the shit out of it, I’d give it all five minutes max. Mine pretty well instantly destroys it but, well, mines stronger”, Danny grins goofily at the older halfas glare. Vlad hates that fact but it has long been undeniable, Danny was way stronger; even before the Ghost King thing and basically having access to unlimited power. Laughing as the man hurried off down a hall, “don't worry too much though, you’re bound to have caught something off that little bit of fabric”. If it was anyone else Danny might feel a little bad, he probably slightly scared the guy. 

Chuckling as he flies out, “okay I guess I should probably just admit that I am a bit of a menace and that yeah, I might, keyword being “might”, be somewhat terrifying”. Deciding to be a little shit he cackles on his way home, full well knowing how disturbing and threatening that sounds with an echoey voice. 

Danny stops and smirks, snapping his head down as The Box Ghost is gaping up at him, “you actually sound threatening, Phantom. For no reason”, after a couple seconds, “THE MOST FEARSOME BOX GHOST IS HIGHLY IMPRESSED WITH YOUR IMPROVEMENTS!”. 

Danny high speed flies, stopping directly in front of The Box Ghost, effectively scaring the crap out of the guy. But it’s, well, him, so that doesn’t mean much of anything. Deadpanning, “I gave Vlad anthrax”. 

“...what?”.

“You heard me”.

“I think I’m just gonna go...”.

“You do that Boxy, you do that”. 

Intentionally cackling as The Box Ghost promptly fucks off. 

“Okay I know I was pissy with you earlier, but you so have to tell me how to scare him off that easily. Guy’s a determined bastard”, Danny snaps his head up inhumanly fast, blatantly not having noticed Red was there. Easily seeing her frown at his action, “okay, preferably without attempting to snap my own neck or cackling. I have limits and ain’t interested in hurting myself. Plus my voice doesn’t echo like you freaky ghosts”. 

Danny rolls his eyes as he floats up to her, ghostly tail wiggling slowly and arms hanging limp. Talking with a smile plastered on his face, “I basically threatened him with an anthrax infection. Which doesn’t even make sense, since one, I’d have to handle that shit, and two, can’t give the dead anthrax”. 

“Phantom what the fuck, I mean I appreciate the info but that’s kind of...messed up”, Danny’s about to feel insulted until she starts chuckling, “okay, and maybe a fair bit funny. Only The Box Ghost would be fearful of something that can’t harm him at all, just wow”. 

“That’s Boxy for ya. Though it is a bit embarrassing him “complimenting” my apparent fearsomeness”, both of them cringe. 

“Any compliment from him is embarrassing. Though I do kind of get it”, Danny started out nodding but promptly gasped in mock offence at her. Which she rolls her eyes at, “come on Phantom, you may be a damn ghost, but all you got in the fear-inducing department is raw power. Which doesn’t do you much good when you flat-out face plant into shit on accident every week”. 

Danny mutters at her, slightly embarrassed, “all you fuckers are giving mixed messages today”. 

“The fucks that mean, Phantom?”. 

Danny, rolling one hand around in the air a bunch as he responds, “the last two humans I talked to, which was discussing a particular ghost being scary or not, resulted in me pointing out my lack of fearsomeness and them telling we that I was, in no uncertain terms, completely terrifying. Which, before you accuse them of stroking my ego, ghostly nature, or whatever, terrifying is not something I want to be. At all”. 

Red tilts her head at him, obviously contemplating, “yeah I don’t see it. But I’m a hunter and I know I fucking scare people, so whatever. Ain’t a fucking normal person, just like you’re a fucking weird ghost”. Danny finger-guns at her before he starts floating off, “don’t you fucking know it Red”. He won’t lie and say that he doesn’t feel a bit better at being told he’s not blatantly terrifying to the huntress. He doesn’t actually want to scare people, except occasionally Vlad but he might not really count as a person. Being deemed fearsome by ghosts was a basic necessity though. But he wasn’t about to go tormenting people or ghosts just for some ghost cred. He absolutely would dick around some though, and that’s all that had been, him screwing around. It absolutely was not his ghost side acting out, nope no way. 

Still wearing a wide grin as he lands back in his room, blinking at Jazz as he changes back, “uh...the fucks up?”. Jazz smiles softly at him, obviously glad he seems happy, “eh just wanted to apologise little brother. I’m well aware I’m overbearing and I guess, with you being an adult now I really shouldn’t be so bad. But we’ve all got our flaws, and one of yours is not letting people in”. 

Danny groans slightly and rolls his eyes, “I’ve got damn reasons, so that doesn’t fucking count. But apology accepted, not like I was ever not going to accept it”, pointing at her, “that is one flaw I definitely have, being too damn forgiving”. 

Chuckling as Jazz rolls her eyes at him. While he tosses the handkerchief into the laundry basket as he’s speaking, “Vlad doesn’t know shit, by the way. So he’s about as useful as a week old chewed up wad of gum, as per usual”. Jazz snorts, “I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, and clearly, neither are you”. 

“What can I say? I derive immense pleasure out of knowing something he doesn’t”, snickering to himself, “especially when it makes Vlad cautious, bastard needs the reminder that I’m top bitch in the halfa world”. Jazz coughs and chokes slightly, “Danny, um, I know you routinely kick creepy vampire ass but pretty sure he’s still got a leg up on you”. Danny blinks a bit because the guy really only had money and the human political position, “no? I have powers he doesn’t, expert control of them now”, glaring at her as she snickers, “shut up, maybe I want to forget to go intangible sometimes just to feel the impact”. Picking back up where he left off before she can psychoanalysis that, “anyway, my ectoplasm is straight-up stronger. That directly translates to being a more powerful ghost by the way. Add in that I have a fully matured and stable core, which he does not. I am indeed top bitch”, shrugging, “Vlad’s just rich and manipulative. Typical politician”. Grumbling to himself in ghost, “too bad he’s the only politician and political problem I can deal with, with my fists”.

“Ghost speak Danny. But I guess you must be right on that, weird but okay”. Danny honestly agreed a little, he never really expected to be stronger than the older experienced halfa. Sure the guy could run mental circles around him most day, but raw strength and physical skill-wise Danny blew him out of the water. And for ghosts, that matter far more. A ghost who hand to manipulate their way to the top or through their afterlife, a ghost who couldn’t achieve by their own capabilities and might alone, well that was weakness and ghosts respect and liked strength. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever”, Danny grumbles as he flops down onto his bed. Blinking up at the ceiling, “probably gonna be fucking off tomorrow. Got some morally fucked people to go say high to. Whatever happens, I’ll get my answer for how I’m viewed in human politics”. 

“Please tell me you’re not being stupid and going alone...or only going with this other ghosts, who’s identity instill do know”. 

Danny smirks up at her glare, “you’ve encountered plenty, I’ll be fine”, which just makes Jazz glare at him even more judgingly. Shaking her head as Danny just smiles, “I’d say to just not break any bones. But if this is a meeting with a human politician then there shouldn’t be any physical altercations”. 

Danny can’t help but snort, instantly reminded of one of the many videos of politicians fist fighting and throwing chairs at each other, “ah you never know, might be GIW twats there. Or maybe they’ll wanna assassinate me for knowing their dirty little secret project and taking a massive piss on it”. 

Jazz grimaces, “um, ew. And Danny, half the shit the government does is dirty laundry; be more specific”.

“Nope”.

Jazz glares at him as the two sit in silence for a while. 

Danny, staring at the ceiling, “hey Jazz...do you think I’m terrifying”. She’s really the only one he hasn’t gotten an opinion on this from today. Well, ok Vlad too but his opinion didn’t mean shit and he’d probably lie. His parents' opinion would also be blinded by bigotry and their hunter egos. The rest of the town’s opinion would certainly fall into either “he’s a ghost, that’s scary” or “he’s a hero, that’s anything but scary”. 

Jazz sits down next to him, instantly worried he’s having a crisis. But seeing the slight amused but curious look, she sighs fondly, “your power is scary sure but you use it in such a good and helpful manner that it’s very easy to look past. In the same way that a child’s parents have massive control and power over them, which is scary, but because they protect us and care for us it’s only respectable. We like them for their ability to protect us, which sure doesn’t really apply with our parents but they’re weird and you’re a special case”. Patting at Danny’s hair, which he shoves her hand off for and scowls slightly, “so no, you’re not terrifying”. 

Danny raises an eyebrow at her, pretty sure he’d effectively scared her multiple times; recently too, “you sure about that one. You know I can smell it when people are scared or fearful”. 

Jazz rolls her eyes, though having pretty well forgotten about that, “everyone scares others sometimes. You having power just means it’s easier for you to do. That’s not the same as you being overall terrifying though”. 

Danny mutters, “so that’s two to two now. Man does the world just love making me unidentifiable”, Danny then chuckles. This was yet another case of something being half and half with him, the universe sure must have one hell of a sense of humour. Danny’s firmly glad his own humour matches it, otherwise, he might start getting frustrated. 

Jazz laughs lightly as she stands up to leave, “and you clearly enjoy it”. Turning back towards him while standing in his doorway, “do try to actually sleep. If you’re going to be dealing with politics, you really should have your brain up to par”. 

Danny rolls his eyes, “I’ve had enough encounters with Vlad to know that, Jazz”. Though occasionally him being a sleep-deprived mess actually helped with dealing with the older halfa, made the guy highly frustrated and insulted. But there was a good chance that was largely because of Vlad’s ghost side. 


	2. How...Suiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no way Vlad would only show up once in a story involving politics

Waking up, Danny is flat-out amazed he actually got to sleep uninterrupted. Muttering, “maybe those fuckers could sense I was gonna be up to some shit today”. Danny’s not about to really give them credit though and he knows the universe doesn’t ever give him breaks, so knowing his luck there’s probably some bullshit on the horizon. 

Stretching out, smirking about how he at least doesn’t have to spend time trying to figure out what’s appropriate to wear. Ghosts don’t dress up or change clothing ever really. Though he knows he’ll have to doon his cape and crown, for obvious reasons. Taping his chin after pulling on a beaten alien sweater, “well maybe not actually. Might be better if I don’t. Not like the human public actually knows and it might make them view me as a threat”. 

Shrugging as he hops out the door, getting his pants on fully just before running down the stairs, “eh it's not like I’m not a threat. But maybe I should just save that as a trump card of sorts”. Promptly shoving a piece of uncooked bread in his mouth as he rummages around for his cereal. 

“Are you seriously eating while making yourself something to eat?”.

Danny snaps his head around and mutters into what’s left of his bread, “off shvvs tit”. Before swallowing the rest harshly, barely catching his sister’s slight disgusted grimace at the minor display of body manipulation, “you’d think you’d be used to this by now”.

“Doesn’t stop it from looking painful and gross. There’s not even any point to doing that other than to gross me out. ‘S not like you can still enjoy it after doing that”, Jazz shakes her head as she walks around him, going to fetch some fruit. Promptly groaning just as Danny sits down with his food, “ugh well that’s inedible now”, before throwing the offending fruit at Danny. 

Danny chuckles as he catches the, slightly glowing, apple. Muttering, “ahh ectocontamination, wonderful wonderful unmistakable toxic glow”, before taking a bite. Licking some of the dripping green off his chin as he sets the apple down on the table, “well ok, that’s more contaminated than it looks. Eh whatever, works for me”. Blinking a bit as that doesn’t make sense. Muttering in ghost as he squints at the apple, “come to think of it, this doesn’t smell like an ectocontaminated apple at all...”. 

Jazz shakes her head, strawberries and a banana in hand, before using a pencil to tilt the apple over; stopping it from dripping ectoplasm onto the table. Both of them stare at the pencil as the eraser starts smoking, melting. Danny smirks before flat-out laughing, “oh wow yeah no, not an Earth apple”. Danny, shaking his head, “you just had to pick the one pencil that hadn’t yet got the, Fenton household required, anti-ecto coating?”. Jazz only groans in response as she puts back the slightly melted pencil. 

Danny walks out the door, apple in hand and occasionally taking bites. Before stopping and staring at the apple again, “wait a second. How’d a ghost apple even get in the fridge? I’m not quite enough of an idiot to straight-up bring home ghost food and shove it in the family fridge. Not only that but then to also forget about it?”. Frowning before facepalming, “ah fuck, parents probably brought it from the Zone as a sample”, snickering a little, “I’ve developed a bad habit out of consuming my parents' research”. 

Danny, smelling his parents, jerks the apple behind his back; splattering a bit of pure ectoplasm on the street, which promptly starts smoking. Chuckling awkwardly, “uh, heh, you guys are back late. Late-night?”, scrunching up his eyebrows as he takes in their dishevelled appearance, “were you guys running around in town all night?”. 

“Well we were looking for suitable soil to make ectomixtures with, but then ghosts started popping up”, Maddie finishes with Jack nodding and looking like he wanted to sleep where he’s standing. Danny chuckles realising why he got a peaceful rest, “sounds eventful. Anyway, the trios heading out to Bridgewords today”, shrugging, “and you know how Tuck’s driving is so, I’ll get back when I get back, I guess”. 

Maddie doesn’t even bother seeming disappointed, she’s rather used to her son just disappearing and having no regard for time management at this point. Ruffling up his hair some, “you know we’ll save supper for you sweetie, but have a good time with your friends”. 

Danny let’s out a breath and chuckles as they walk off, waiting a bit to start up on his ghost apple again and pulling out his phone. 

“Feel like fucking off to Bridgewords?” - D

“The fucks happening there?” - S

“Just forwarding an excuse” - D

“Just one conversation with the forwarding co. gets us all dragged to another town” - T

“Oh like you had anything else to do” - S

“Eh, I do. So have fun in the city with a concerningly high amount of distilleries and one really big statue of a traffic cone” - D 

“Dude, how do you think you’re getting us to not come with you to whatever” - T

“Oh like you would want to sit around a bunch of political talk” - D

“Actually, could you even?” - D

“Ass“ - T

“I could and you better be politically in the zone, not up to yesterday’s bullshit” - S

“Ass” - T

“She’s right Tuck” - D

“I stand corrected: Asses*” - T

“Anyway” - D

“I’m up to bullshit, useful bullshit. But it will be getting ghosted” - D 

“Goddamn you” - S

“Thats my territory” - S

“I thought ghosting was my thing” - D

“Idiot” - S 

Danny chuckles as he snaps his phone shut, “this is technically activism, which is technically her thing. But she’s hella aggressive about it and my leverage in this is who and what I am”. Danny’s certain that her way of “activism” wouldn’t go over well. This already felt like it was going to be more like a mob boss meeting rather than a protest negotiation. He, as much as he hated to admit it, had to play this more like Vlad than like Sam. Muttering in ghost, “or maybe more like CW...”, shrugging, “minus being intentionally confusing”. Actually minus a lot of things, ClockWork could come off like a pushover if you didn’t know who they were or if they weren’t showing off their capabilities. And the Observants, well, he’d rather be a bit like Vlad than like them. Which was honestly kind of sad, since those fuckers actually were technically good guys. Vlad wasn’t. Muttering again, “sad that I trust that frootloop more than the, oh so high and mighty, Observants”. At least Vlad had some level of transparency and predictability. Chuckling as yesterdays conversation with his friends comes to mind, “ah fuck, I guess that does make my unpredictable off-the-cuff ass concerning, threatening and somewhat scary“. 

Shaking his head as he licks his fingers clean of the green mess and slips into an alleyway. Transforming and flying, invisibly, through a few houses before shooting into the sky. 

“Phantom? What are you doing out of the cities borders?”, Danny blinks down at Valerie, out of suit and standing in the beach waters. Tilting his head, “I could ask you the same. But then again plenty of teens do like the beach”. 

Valerie aggressively places her hands on her hips, “I’ll be eighteen in a week you know”, rolling her eyes before jabbing a thumb at the water, “I dumped Technus’s ass in the water. Decided to enjoy the view for a while”. 

Danny, chuckling with a shit-eating grin, “didn’t know you were dating. Good on ya for the dump though, I’m sure his electrifying personality is not worth all the monologuing”. 

“Do you want me to shoot you?!”.

“Potentially, pain’s as good as any cup o’ joe”. 

Valerie frowns before blushing slightly and staring down at her bare feet, “we both have some serious issues”, before glaring up at him, “but that doesn’t answer my question, Spook”. 

Danny shrugs lazily, “got a meeting with the president at five. Politics be a bitch”. Of course Danny doesn’t actually have a meeting, he’s not usually prepared enough for that. Plus this isn’t something you set up a public or official meeting for. Naw, this was gonna go down like a drug trade. 

Valerie snorts at him, “oh really now? Pretty sure you couldn’t do politics to save your life”. 

“Well that’s good then, seeing as I don’t have a life”.

“Mood”, glaring at him again, “but seriously. The fuck are you up to Phantom. Ghosts like you never leave their obsessions alone. Obviously Amity’s yours, with you basically haunting the place like it’s your religion”. 

Danny crosses his arms and decides to just float down to her, before he gives her a kink in the neck or something, “well it is my haunt. Not my obsession, just my home. I would think my obsession would be obvious by now, Red. Protection, protecting; being a generalised selfless overprotective fuck who forgets my humans can actually look out for themselves”. 

“Your humans?”.

Blinking a bit at Valerie’s clearly unimpressed face, shrugging and rubbing his neck, “forget that most of y’all don’t like me calling you that”, smirking, “but overprotective comes with being a bit possessive. My town, my home, my humans, my lair”. Pointing at her and trying to ignore her highly unimpressed face, “doesn’t mean controlling though. Everyone’s free to do as they please, to come and go. Just means any who stay here have to put up with my protective ass”. 

“I’m not even sure if I should be bothered by that, I know you’re not evil or manipulative; now anyway. But this town belongs to the humans, not you. And you’re damn right we can look after ourselves”. 

“Yeah well, needs are needs and they don’t care if you’d be fine without my protection. Which you wouldn’t be, by the way”, muttering under his breath in ghost, “you'd mostly be dead actually or completely, depending”. 

Waving off her glare, “yeah yeah, I know. English you stupid ghost bastard”. Causing both of them to chuckle. 

At this point, he really could do with any advice and he was rather curious about somethings. Rubbing his neck, “so as I just made brutally apparent, sometimes I’m rather lacking in the understanding-humans department; or at least, being forgetful”, shrugging with a slight smirk, “so seeing as you’re a more ghostly informed human, who isn’t an insane frootloop”. Again eliciting a chuckle from the girl, “pretty sure he’s more ghost than human, Phantom. Not sure what part gives him his crazy though”.

Danny smirks, so she does know; well that answers one of his curiosities. Smirking at her, “oh that’s all Masters. Plasmius just cranked it up to eleven. Consider it a combination of isolation, unchecked desires for vengeance, unrequited love, and being immoral at heart”. 

Danny doesn’t blame her for the guilty look but he is on a sorta self-imposed time crunch here, not really but Danny just loves to make himself suffer, apparently. “Don’t fret Red, you saw the light; spooky glowing light, but still. Ten buckets of whacky didn’t and probably never will. Anyway, you’re gonna get to be the fifth person I’ve pestered about this and only cause you caught me on my way”. 

“Oh so you’re actually going to tell me what you’re up to ghost? Spill”.

“Whatcha know bout politics? Think my ghostly ass could fuck round some and get some politicians to cut it out with doing some, definitely highly illegal and morally corrupt, shit?”.

“That...That was not what I was expecting”, she blinks at him a bit, “fuck, you were actually serious about meeting politicians. Highly doubt it being the president though. What the hell Phantom? Again you can’t do politics and isn’t corrupt government, like, our problem? Like a human problem? The fuck are you up to ghost”. 

“Naw not him, that part was just some trademarked Phantom humour”, Danny stands up straight and serious, “normally this would be your guys’s issue, technically it entirely is. But the minute it starts threatening the safety and well being of my lair and my humans, it becomes my issue. Plus, I’ll have to deal with those bullshit ecto acts at some point. So removing a sketch bill is a decent enough foot in the door for dismantling those dangerous laws”. Danny’s amazed he didn’t think of that earlier, some random fuck ghost just showing up and wanting to adjust or do away with laws would probably not go over all too well. And dealing with the ecto act would be rather public, those were public laws and dealt with an entire branch of the government. It would be near impossible to keep Phantoms existence, or Amity Parks, existence from becoming public knowledge. And if this whole toxin town situation wasn’t dealt with first then that would definitely become public knowledge and that would probably rub the government the wrong way. 

Danny rubs at his head, because man were politics ever a complicated headache, as he listens to Valerie, “those laws protect us from you, ghost. Why the heck would I offer advice on that?! But what do you mean Amity’s in danger?!”. 

Danny, deadpanning, “governments are always more corrupt than you think. Try looking up our town at some point, but not using Amity’s internet or location, you won’t be able to find it. Even if you pull off some hacking shit. In the eyes of the world, Amity Park doesn’t exist, there’s a reason for that. A reason I’m looking to do away with”, now she’s gaping at him. But Danny decides to bite her curiosity in the butt, “not gonna tell you the why, I’m pretty well storing away that knowledge as potential blackmail. Even if I’d rather not go the underhanded route. But well, us ghosties will do near anything to satisfy our obsessions, as you know. So I’m gonna protect my town and shit”, rolling his hand, “and protecting this place is kind of your thing too so, like, whatcha know bout human politics?”. 

Everyone silent for a bit till Valerie breaths out, “what the fuck Phantom. I mean fuck, obviously be more damn professional. Put on a suit or some bullshit”, Valerie groans and tilts her head back, “so this is some serious bullshit and it’s in the cold dead hands of a politically incapable twat”. 

“First off, ghosts don’t do suits or clothing changes really. Second off, that’s the third time you’ve called me politically inept, third time is not the charm. I’ll have you know, I am, for all accounts and purposes, a politician. Ghosts just do our shit differently”, muttering under his breath in ghost, “just be glad I’m not so inept that I’d think going with the “drop an army on their asses” option was, somehow, a good idea”. 

“Phantom, again, what the fuck. The bar must be damn low for your, barely an adult, ass to have any political power anywhere”.

“Ouch...but you seriously don’t know, do you? And here I thought you were, like, really ghostly informed and shit. Don’t you do, like, research and shit?”.

“Of course I do!”, Valerie huffs and turns away from Danny a bit, “so clearly you’re not that big of a deal, so stuff your ego, Phantom”. Meanwhile, Danny’s just stunned that the ghosts haven’t been running their mouths about his shit. Ghosts are notoriously horrible gossips and having a new fucking King was some massive gossip. 

Smirking at her, “naw, knowing this just inflates the fuck out of it. Fuckers kept their mouths shut about me and I didn’t even have to make an order about that”, shrugging as she glares at him, “probably only did that because of me being so heavily involved in the human world and whatnot. Still damn nice though”. 

Getting more serious again, “though you of all humans really should know. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but I do rely on you to look after this town”.

“Bullshit Phantom, you’re just trying to butter me up so I won’t be pissy about you hiding shit. I’m not up my own ass enough to think I’m a better hunter than you are a ghost”.

Rolling his eyes, “it’s got nothing to do with that. Amity has your undivided attention, you’re a hunter who protects Amity and that’s your everything. You only have this place as your responsibility. I have other duties, duties that are ultimately more important”, shrugging, “just drastically less common”. Patting her on the shoulder as she glares at him, a mixture of confused, annoyed and insulted. Shrugging exaggeratedly as he floats slowly upwards, “simply put Red, all you’ve got to do is be a teenager, work a human job, hunt the occasional ghost, and protect Amity. And if you fuck up any of those then it’s no big deal really. It either doesn’t really matter or there’s someone else to pick up your slack. But me, well, the president of the United States has less on his plate. I’ve got an entire dimension to run and an entire species of overpowered dead fucks to lead and protect. Add in a lair filled with humans and shitty human laws fucking with things. Well, let’s just say politics are a pain in the ass and after tonight the Ghost King might just have had his fill for a few weeks”. 

Danny zips off with a two-finger wave, leaving an incoherently shouting Valerie in his wake. 

Danny settles into a comfortable and lazy flight, going around four hundred and seventy mph, as his phone goes off. Groaning and slowing down by about a hundred, “hey well look who it is? Vladdie!”. Chuckling as he flips open his phone, making it intangible so the wind won’t affect the conversation:

“Wow a direct line of communication with a political frootloop. To what do I owe this great displeasure?”.

“Daniel, pray tell, what the fuck”.

“Oh damn, slap me and call me daddy, this is a new fucking record. Sounds like I managed to piss in your cat litter without taking a shit in it first”.

“I’m talking about the handkerchief, you child”

“Oh no Vladdie you’re losing your touch, for a child I am no more”

Muttering, “I’m starting to feel glad about not actually being your father, Daniel”

“I’d rather be my own child than yours, frootloop”

“I’m just going to ignore that. Back to the actual point, before you take up any more of my time, time that is actually valuable. As you obviously peeked my interests last night, I’m not going to claim to have actually slept-”

Danny cuts him off, “shit V-man! You’re finally conforming to my sleep schedule, I’m so proud”.

“You really should take better care of yourself, Daniel. As I was saying, before being so rudely interrupted, you were indeed correct on our unusual aggressive immunity. And as one like myself does, I took to the liberty of tracing the point of origin of your little gift-wrapped concoction. And in taking my samples home what do I discover? That your lair is more of a nightmare than a nuclear waste dumpsite”. 

Danny, laughing, “come on you nutty frootloop, there’s no way you didn’t know something was fucked. Have you seen my friends' eyes? Like really dude, the building walls change fucking colour like fucking mood rings. How have you not realised everything was utterly screwy”.

“It’s your lair, you could have been doing that. To say your prowess with your skills is, lacking, is an understatement”.

“Fuck you too Vladdie”.

“I’m quite right, Daniel. Now if you’d let me train you then-”.

Cutting him off, “one of these days I’m just going to stuff cat litter straight down your throat after I piss, shit and vomit in it. Then I’ll vore all your footballs”. 

“You are insufferable”. 

“It’s a pleasure to please, as always”.

Danny fiddles with his glove as there’s a pause in the conversation. Before he speaks back up:

“So seeing as you have some idea of the bullshit. Whatcha know bout human politics?”.

“Did you...just ask me for...advice? What game are you playing? And we’re not done with the unusual state of your lair”.

“Do the research yourself, I’m not about to become your mommy and start spoon-feeding you. So, politics....oh and don’t get your silk overprice undies in a knot, you’re, like, the last one I’ve asked. I’d ask Boxy, but he’s a bit afraid of me right now”.

“I could make more use out of him as a pencil sharpener than as an advisor, don’t mock me so, child”.

“Chill your tits, I didn’t say he’d actually be useful”.

“Very well. And Daniel, I’m a politician for fun, you’ll have to be more specific”. 

“Oh nothing too fancy, just how would one go about obliterating a bill. Particularly the kind that the government pays people hush money for and shoots people for interfering with. Maybe the kind that pays scientists a little too much money to completely forgo their morals, if they had any to begin with. I already know who I’m looking for, just gotta mince words”.

“Daniel, know that I feel like I’m becoming a broken record here but. What, pray tell, the fuck”.

“Dude, you don’t get to act all high and mighty. You’re one of those scientists with nonexistent morals”.

“That’s a moot point. You are what, eighteen, it doesn’t matter what you do; you’re not going to be listened to. You’re one random teen, ahem, adult, from a small town and with no political position to speak of. Your parents, much as it pains me, even Jack, would have better sway”. 

Danny laughs, Vlad should know better than to think he was doing this shit as Fenton. “I’m pretty sure the big DP has more damn sway than my parents. I’m ghosting this shit, man. Ain’t gonna be living up in this shit”. 

“In that case, we’ve got something to work with, my boy”.

Danny sighs and comes to a halt in the air, this is more promising than anyone else really. And it’s not like the man actually knows what exactly Danny’s doing, kind of hard to manipulate the chessboard, or whatever, if you can’t see it. “Let me guess, you want something in return? Oh and don’t bother asking for my mom’s number”.

“Butter-biscuits”.

“Oh, and you know better than to ask for any political favours”.

“But of course, Daniel. Frankly, anything from you of that nature backfires worse that Desiree’s W granting. No, all I’m asking for is to get you into a proper suit”. 

“And here I had already told Red I wasn’t doing that”.

“What you tell the little huntress is not of my concern”.

“Whatever V-man. But fuck it, guess so. Though you know I’ll know if you bug it”

“...indeed”.

Danny rolls his eyes at the slight dig, which he knew was just Vlad’s way of pushing away his own indignation at having been called out. Snapping the phone shut without so much as a good-bye, before turning tail and full tilt speeding off towards Vlad’s mansion. 

Danny can’t help the shit-eating grin that spreads on his face from Vlad’s flinch, as he flies in through the wall directly behind the guy. The guy knew he was coming and yet... “And here I thought I was the jumpy one”. 

Vlad smooths out his suit some before spinning around and grinning at Danny, “whatever do you mean, Daniel”. Danny just rolls his eyes before planting his feet on the ground and crossing his arms. He’s really not looking to waste a lot of time here, but something tells him he might not be dealing with more than one political deadbeat today. And the one he was dealing with today had an emphasis on the dead part. 

“Funny thing Vlad, I think my time is more valuable than yours. Otherwise, I’d definitely be sleeping right now”. 

“And much of it is wasted time, but I digress”, Vlad turns back to his desk and produces a large shiny black box with, what looks like, silver embellishments. “Now Daniel, at the very least I’m going to get to enjoy my investment. So you’re getting nothing out of me till you let me pamper you”. 

Danny sighs into his hand and pinches his nose, muttering in ghost, “for Phantom's sake Vlad”, looking back up at the older halfa and seeing that the man is clearly trying not to grin his ass off, “ugh fine. But if it looks just like yours, I will assault you and rub salt in your eyes”. 

Vlad grimaces and glares at Danny, “my ego is not that large, Daniel. It’s made for you. Not me. My suit would hardly work on you, especially as Phantom, much too simple and elegant”.

Danny rolls his eyes but begrudgingly takes the box, “you sure about your ego not being oversized? You literally wear a double-breasted suit every-single-day”. 

“I’m surprised you even know what that is my boy”.

“Vlad...regardless of the different realms and societies, we’re both politicians. Kinda have to know that crap”, though Danny takes pride in not being like the typical human realm politicians. Ghost leaders were so much easier and transparent...and selfish. Most didn’t exactly care about anyone outside of their dominion, it just so happened that Danny’s dominion was everything in the Zone. So he had to learn the ways, and fashion, of literally every ghost society. But at least with ghosts no one really expected him to actually dress a certain way, beyond his natural clothing anyway. Though he often opted out of his cape and crown in the human realm for oh so many reasons. 

Flipping the box open while Vlad sits slightly on the edge of his desk. Danny breathes out, “sweet fuck Vlad”, as he rubs a gloved finger on the white velvet with a green shimmer. Putting the box to the side, Danny lifts out the tailcoat. It’s double-breasted, which considering Vlad isn’t surprising, with three buttons on either side; the peak-lapel is crushed black velvet matching the inside of the tailcoat. Squinting at the buttons, “emeralds? Seriously?”. Danny lifts up his head, there’s no way Vlad just got this, glaring at Vlad, “how long have you had this?”. 

Vlad shrugs, “never said the suit maker was human. Pretty sure no human would have used special ectoline stitching”. 

Danny rubs a finger over some of the barely visible stitching and sure enough, ectoline, oddly thin ectoline but still. Which meant phasing though it wouldn’t be an issue, smart. As per usual, Vlad thinks of pretty well everything. 

Vlad shrugs as Danny sets down the tailcoat, “the visible stitching on everything else is silver but there’s still ectoline of course. Can’t have you fumbling with your powers and ruining half the point of a suit”. 

Danny just glares at him as he pulls out a second? Jacket. Officially confused, though this one looks like a regular twill patterned black wool suit jacket. It takes Danny a bit to figure out the style of this one but he’s pretty sure it’s mandarin, the lack of a lapel giving it away. Just like the tailcoat, it’s double-breasted with three buttons, with emeralds, on either side. 

Vlad smiles slightly, “now, since I highly doubt you can tell, the fabric is vicuna wool and qivui wool”, smirking, “you won’t find much rarer wool”. 

Danny stares Vlad down as he puts the suit jacket with the tailcoat, “you realised this would only ever happen once, so you took every single measure of overboard you possibly could”. Vlad only smirks in response as Danny pulls out the suit vest, “ok first off, how many pieces are in here?!?”. 

“Many, it is a six-piece suit after all”, Danny didn’t actually know that was a thing and maybe it’s not. Maybe Vlad just self-created a more over the top style of suit, Danny wouldn’t put it past the guy. The dark green satin waistcoat is definitely odd, having a cross button style instead of being double-breasted; giving it an angular look and Danny doesn’t even have to put it on to be able to tell that the cut is low enough for his DP symbol to be visible. 

Shaking his head but finding it hard not to chuckle as he puts that to the side and pulls out a sheer black dress shirt, with a buttoned or pinned down high collar. Genuinely laughing when he clues in that it’s sheer so that his symbol will be visible through it, “I’m pretty sure a sheer dress shirt would be absurd normally. Really all of this is flashy, considering you that’s both surprising and exactly what I’d expect”. 

“Have you seen your personality, little badger? This suit is pretty well bespoken, matching you not just in physique but personality and posture as well”.

Danny points at him, “and that’s creepy”, Vlad always manages to remind Danny how much of a creep and a frootloop he is, in the most unexpected and downright weirdest ways. Eyeballing Vlad judgingly as he lifts out the trousers, light grey wool in a windowpane pattern; suspiciously normal actually. 

“Those are worsted wool, more common but still a wool of high quality”.

“So almost normal”, again earning an eye roll from the man. Danny, looking back into the box, “shoes and a bow tie as well? You’ve got issues Vladdie”. 

Pulling out the bow tie, which matches the trousers except made of silk. Least it didn’t have any bow tails like Vlad’s. 

The shoes are also more normal, looking like regular black dress shoes. Vlad clearly knew Danny would think this, as he speaks up, “those are chisel toed oxford brogue’s made out of patent leather, with a long wingtip design. Quite eccentric and while whole cut is the hight of elegance, something so plain clashes with your personality”. 

Danny rolls his eyes and points down at Vlad’s shoes, “and let me guess, yours are whole cut?”. Vlad smiles and nods before stepping away from his desk and motioning to the door. “I’m certain you’re quite capable of dressing yourself. Though I’ll show you how to wear the tailcoat and undoubtedly the suit jacket”. 

Danny just glares at him and huffs as he walks off with the oversized pile of clothing. 

Danny stares at himself in the mirror and is definitely freaked out. It fits him exactly and more than that, it accentuates him well. Sure his natural ghost jumpsuit was form fittingly skin tight, making his muscles undeniable. But this was just straight up shapely.

The waist jacket pinching in his waist slightly, making his chest look even more filled out; and yeah his DP was clearly visible through the sheer dress shirt and the trim of the waistcoat curved around the bottom of it with just enough space. The buttoned-down collar making the sheer look more serious and the bow tie adding a pop of pattern. 

It was clear Danny’s legs were muscular but the trousers didn’t hug the entirety of his legs, instead having a loose almost carefree flow to them. Having them match the bow tie in pattern really did balance out the look, instead of the trousers standing out harshly. 

And Danny doesn’t care that mandarin suit jackets are supposed to be buttoned all the way up, doing that kind of defeated the purpose of everything underneath. So he’d just buttoned it up enough so that the dark green of the waistcoat peaked out. 

He does, however, button up the tailcoat properly; only buttoning the middle and anchor buttons. Running his hand over the velvet and watching as it literally accentuated the bends and shapes of his muscles without flat-out hugging them. The green shimmer adding a slight glowing effect. In short, he looked like an elegant as fuck cougar coiled to attack. The shiny shoes just topped it off for a more professional look. 

Patting himself down, though he’s definitely not going to admit to Vlad that he likes the feel of velvet and that he looks damn good. Muttering at the mirror, “I do look kingly, just humanly so”, tilting his head, “which I guess is the point, sorta”. Genuinely curious, Danny summons out his crown and cape. Promptly laughing, “now that’s extra. But damnit, still looks good. This look would definitely be effectively startling”.

Shaking his head and doing away with his crown and cape, as he walks out back towards Vlad’s office. 

“Well, I’m certainly impressed. You’ve proven me wrong and buttoned both properly and how I intended”, Danny watches Vlad awkwardly as Vlad flat-out walks around him like he’s inspecting fine art; and Danny’s just trying to not let that thought inflate his ego or creep him out. 

Vlad steps back in front of him and nods curtly, “now obviously you could just unbutton the tailcoat and suit jacket, the waistcoat would make sure you still looked good and well dressed”. 

“Aka I can be a lazy relax git and still look like the opposite”.

Vlad smirks, “indeed, and that’s the point. Same as why the tailcoat couldn’t be black, too many dark colours and it’d make you look like a bouncer”, placing a hand on his chest, “now I can do head to toe black, since I am lean”.

“You mean skinny, like a twig. While I’m a bit of a wall of muscle”.

“Ignoring the dig, being that doesn’t help you here. If you’re aiming to converse civilly with any politician, you shouldn’t look like you’re going to bash their face in... which is how you normally look”. 

“Oh so what now, you gonna tell me I’m terrifying now too?”, Danny takes Vlad’s silence as confirmation, just that Vlad doesn’t want to admit it. Danny rolls his eyes, “y’all fuckers”. 

“You should also watch your language, Daniel. And regardless of what you think, your natural ghost jumpsuit is basically a battle suit. It’s pretty well publicly inseparable from ghost fighting. Which is just a bunch of superpowered fistfights. This suit, a formal but eccentric suit, is disarming in that regard. It also conveys seriousness and the double-breasted style is assertive and a sign of fine breeding”. 

Danny’s points at Vlad, “that sounds creepy, I’d say making me look more assertive is counterproductive but I know you mean that in a different way. Also, I did notice how all this defines my “physique” or whatever”. 

Vlad nods with a slight smirk as he walks over to one of his large chairs, “but of course, your idea of assertive is rather violent and in everyone’s face. The kind of assertive a suit conveys is one of confidence and the ability to get things done. As for your “physique”, well, we’re powerful things and that ought to be shown. Just simply without being barbaric or brutish about it”. 

“Are you calling my jumpsuit brutish?!”, Danny snaps though laced with humour, as he sits down across from Vlad; easily maneuvering the tail of the tailcoat to avoid pulling on it. Vlad quirks an eyebrow at that, “should I be impressed you didn’t yank on that when you sat down?”.

Danny, rolling his eyes, “hardly. I have a cape Vlad. I’m more impressed that walking with shoes over my boots isn’t all that difficult”. Vlad nods and taps his chin, “yes, your jumpsuit is all one thing after all”, shrugging, “oh well, it can’t be helped. Your jumpsuit boots would clash and are hardly suit worthy. Though I did pick your shoes long wing pattern for its flashy nature, same with the peaked lapel”. 

Danny looks down at his tailcoat, “everything about the tailcoat is extremely flashy”, shrugging, “not gonna claim that doesn’t suit me though. You weren’t kidding about matching my personality. Which is, again, creepy”. 

“Hmm, there’s probably very few who know you as well as I do, Daniel. And conveying a persons personality is part of the purpose of a suit. It’s meant to truly fit a person, accentuate their positives and blur or burry their flaws. While also conveying at certain atmosphere and invoke feeling in others. In your case, regal protector is the atmosphere and boisterous yet protective is the feeling”. 

“I feel like you’re monologuing at me, about suits”, smirking, “I’ll take it over Technus”. Though Danny’s rather pleased that Vlad really did make this suit very Danny. Instead of making him look like the mini Masters of Vlad’s wildest dreams. Though this whole getup would never fly on Danny Fenton, well it would but it’d make him look way too Phantom. Though technically he could just forgo the tailcoat and change out the dress shirt. Squinting a little at the bit of suit jacket he could see, muttering to himself in ghost, “come to think of it, my old suit jacket was a double-breasted black wool one”. 

“Indeed it was, back when we first met”.

Danny, blinking up at the man, “and I didn’t think this could get any creepier”, shaking his head, “anyway. As much joy as it is to find newer and deeper levels of your creep factor. Politics”. 

“Tack Daniel, is that a foreign word to you?”. 

“I deal with ghosts Vladdie, I have tact with them. In your face, flashy, biting. That’s how things work, and why you never get anywhere with ghosts. You have no ghost tact”. 

“I have money, I’m well off here”.

“And I’m King of entire fucking species and dimension, your point? Both of us have to deal with both species, both of us are literally both species”, smirking, “though I’m better with humans than you are with ghosts”. 

“Yes well, I don’t need to interact with ghosts per se. You need to interact with humans. Otherwise you wouldn’t even be here, lounging across from your “archenemy” in a fine suit and bitching about politics”. 

“We haven’t been doing much of that last one...”, Danny grumbles into his hand as he adjusts to lay across the chair arms. 

“Looks are a good seventy percent of the battle with all things political. Even you know that, you have your cape after all. If you insist on your distaste for all things involving me, then simply view this as your human political outfit. While the cape and crown is that of your ghost politics”. Danny kind of hates that Vlad’s got a point there, though Danny genuinely likes his cape and crown; and they were earned after all. Shrugging, “my cape’s hardly practical for around town”

“Yes and why’s that? Because it would convey the wrong message to humans. Just as parading around in this suit wouldn’t fly so well with ghosts. Even I don’t wear a suit in ghost form”, which really did say something, seeing as the guy was always in a suit otherwise. 

Vlad leans forwards, elbows on his thighs and hands clasped together, “looks are more than just clothing of course. Think posture, facial expressions, any gestures you make or don’t make, how often you change positions, where you look and for how long, and so on”, gesturing at Danny, who’s currently got his chin resting on a closed fist, fist on one arm of the chair and legs draped over the other; legs crossed loosely and bouncing one foot. “Obviously you won’t be lounging like this. But I also know you to be rather fidgety, rarely holding the same position for long. I’d try to time position changes with your words or to emphasise what you’re about to say and not with breaks in the conversation, that would imply discomfort or nervousness. And definitely do not fidget with your hands, feet are fine if it’s silent and you’re sitting at a table. No hair fiddling either and avoid that neck rubbing habit of yours, it’s a major tell”. 

Danny smirks and pretends to be going to rub his neck but changes it a bit of an exaggerated display of putting his hands behind his head. Vlad smirks, “that could work just fine, be more natural though”. Both of them chuckle, knowing full well Danny did that intentionally unnaturally. Vlad, continuing, “I don’t think I really even need to talk about not pulling facial expressions or staring”. 

Danny rolls his eyes, “obviously, like I said, we’re both politicians technically. And, while I may be lacking in human political behaviours, I still understand it all. I’m not that out of touch with humans, not even kind of”. 

“Of course not. This wouldn’t be doable at all if you were. The vast majority of ghosts would not be able to have negotiations of any kind within human politics”. Danny simply nods, knowing full well he’s right on that. Ghost were quite overbearing and eccentric creatures. 

Squinting a Vlad slightly, “do try to keep in mind that I can’t be acting too human. That’s suspicious and, as far as they know, I’m just a ghost. I should be acting it”. 

“You really shouldn’t, but I do see your point. Just don’t do that in a threatening or too mischievous way”, Vlad tilts his head slightly, “leaning into your obsession might be a good route to go. Yours is a more human tolerable one after all”. 

Danny chuckles, “Red might disagree there. But doing that will be unavoidable. Acting on my obsession is part of why I’m doing this. The other part is just having moral objections and, I guess, asserting dominance in a sense”. 

Vlad attempts to cover up his mild shock with a cough, “in that case, you have to keep your obsession from being overbearing or controlling. That’ll be an exploitable weakness. In fact, it’s best you don’t let on what your obsession is at all, playoff your protectiveness as just being your good and caring nature”. Folks manipulating or trying to abuse his obsession is something Danny’s always been a little paranoid about, especially since he feels that his obsession is really obvious. All someone would have to do, is intentionally put themselves in danger or make a threat to one of his humans. But at the same time, he was less susceptible to and less controlled by, his obsession due to being a halfa. 

Danny nods, “I’m aware, Vlad”. 

The two stare at each other in silence for a bit until Vlad shakes his head and leans back, “the other thirty percent is playing your cards, making subtle digs, and verbal tug-o-war. In short, chess”. 

Danny groans sarcastically, “of course it’s chess”. 

“Indeed, digs are your strong suit, though I’d avoid making them the butt of some joke or pun. You can do that to yourself all you want though. I’d encourage that actually, if they have a sense of humour. Sarcasm’s a bad idea though, easily misinterpreted. If they insult you and it’s just a minor dig, you can pretty well ignore it. Makes you look like you’re above it but don’t act like it went over your head. You never want to seem confused or flustered. If the insult is genuine, threatening, or repeated; don’t ignore it. Make a jab at them in return or own the insult like it’s a good thing”. 

Danny chuckles, “watered down witty banter, gotcha. Just more time-sensitive. Basically the same as playing your cards or whatever. Don’t say shit too soon”. 

Vlad nods, “or don’t reveal the entirety of a card at once. I’d encourage you to flat-out imply you have cards that you actually don’t, but only if it is majorly to your advantage; have the ability to tilt the table in your favour. You don’t want to get called out on a fib, that’s pretty well one of the worst things that could happen”.

Danny glares at Vlad, “I’m trying to be as non-underhanded as possible, so you don’t have to worry about that”. 

Vlad rolls his eyes, “of course. Though I’d think you’d know human politics is underhanded. Always”. 

Danny was well aware of that, especially with this. This bill, what was happening, was so many levels below underhanded that hell itself might just blush. Danny fully expected some major dirty tricks and lying, “so I’ve noticed...but you know I can play dirty, I just prefer not to”. 

Vlad grimaces slight, “yes and you are capable of surprising cruelty, don’t play as dirty with humans as I do with ghosts”.

Danny chuckles, “Aka don’t do what you do to me”. 

Vlad nods, “you don’t want to seem like some god just moving around chess pieces. This’ll be more give and take but well, don’t give your most preferred option first. Give them something easy to agree with or undeniable and don’t ever agree to the first proposition they give. There’s always something nasty inside or it’s a rip off”, Vlad squints slight and leans towards Danny again, “actually, with your goal, you aren’t flexible on it are you?”.

Danny grunts, “not a chance”. 

“And if they refuse?”.

“Ghost King”.

“If they don’t care about that?”.

Danny makes his eyes glow a bit brighter to make it clear he really will act, “then I’ll play dirty and scare the fuck out of them”. 

Vlad scrunches up his face, “how, exactly, do you plan on doing that Daniel?”. 

Danny’s got plenty of options really, someone unused to ghosts powers is likely to be very easily startled by anything ghostly. But Danny’s looking to do this in a more human way, as a first option anyway, “threaten to make what’s going on very public, which I will act on, so that’s not an empty threat. Failing that, a show of power. If even that doesn’t work, then I will wreck some shit”

“The first is a very human politician move, depending on who you’re dealing with that could work easily. But your second choice is blatantly ghostly, you’d get retaliation from that. At the very least you’d get the governments attention in an unpleasant way. The third would get Amity attacked, or you, likely both”. 

Danny can tell his smirk is concerning Vlad, “that’s the difference between you and me. Someone does that to you and you’re pretty well fucked, you’d have to back down. But me? I’m the Ghost King V-man, if I put my foot down on something, which I am with this, it either happens or the lot of the Zone makes it happen by force. Which yes, is the nuclear option that I’m trying to avoid”. 

Danny readjusts to be leaning towards Vlad, feet planted on the ground and hands clasped, “thing is, if this isn’t addressed now it’ll be a bigger problem when I deal with the ecto acts. It will almost certainly blow up, it would be an international issue and I wouldn’t be surprised if the UN got involved. By doing this the way I am now, I’m simply giving the government a chance to keep a dirty little secret, a secret. Something that just goes away and no one ever knows about, excluding those already in the know of course”. Plus the whole world knowing about the changes that have happened to his humans would be bad news for them. It could hurt any potential futures for them or make people interested in them purely for their mutations. He didn’t want his humans to get viewed as experiments or to feel like they were experiments; he knew how awful that was. He knew how humans could disregard someone’s humanity purely because they weren’t normal or different. The less people who knew about this the better, but he’s sure he’ll have to tell his friends eventually. 

Vlad clears his throat, “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’d have to deal with those. They are a threat to, not only us, but ghosts as a whole”, nodding, “but that means there isn’t much more I can offer you”. 

Danny nods curtly, he’d expected as much really. Vlad was a politician for sure and could probably handle the conversation better than he could. But, regardless of how much he wanted to be, Vlad wasn’t really made to be a mentor. Plus Vlad was a small-time politician, the limelight wasn’t really his in a major way; whereas Danny was bathed in the limelight in the Zone and he was THE biggest politician/leader in the Zone. Then there was the whole superhero shindig. The two halfas weren’t on equal footing. 

It was actually rather funny that Danny had wound up besting Vlad in so many damn ways, even if the guy didn’t view Danny’s hero gig as something enjoyable. 

Vlad snaps his fingers at Danny as he stands up, “oh some tips, come to think of it. Pay attention to things, for once. Don’t disregard their behaviours. If they touch their nose a lot, or glance to the left a lot, be worried as you’re likely being lied to. If they look behind you frequently, you’re probably in danger; especially if they look slightly upwards as well. Not sure how much that really matters to you, all things considered. If they close their eyes frequently but keep them closed prolongedly, you’re fighting a losing battle and they’re not really listening to you. Lastly, if the meeting place is of your choice, do not leave first; even if you have to drag it out. If they picked it or if you sprung this meeting on them, don’t leave early but leave first”. 

Danny nods and walks to the window, turning back to Vlad, “since I know it’ll tickle you pink, and I am a pleaser. For once you’ve been more useful than pretty much everyone else and uh, not gonna say thanks for the suit”.

Vlad waves Danny off with a smirk, “nonsense boy, wearing it is thanks enough. It suits you well. Though I can’t say I really expect to ever see you in it again”. Vlad gets up and walks over to his tea kettle, smirking and side-eyeing Danny all the while. 

Danny chuckles and shakes his head, as per usually Vlad hardly tried to hide his desires and interest from Danny. Danny guesses the suit was a bit of visual proof of getting to give Danny advice. And Danny’s going to take some amusement out of shocking the older man if he does wear the suit around him again, and he probably will actually. Ghosts were prideful things and it did look damn good. The suit he had at home wasn’t even fitted to him at all, baggy and hung off his shoulders in such a way that he perpetually looked to be slouching. The pants were way too short and he didn’t even own a waistcoat or tailcoat. He also kind of hated to admit it, but, bow ties suited him better than ties. Muttering as he phases out the window, “don’t be so sure about that, you damn frootloop”. 

Danny’s not really surprised it’s dark out by the time he’s done at Vlad’s, firmly knowing that it would be dumb to go confront politician dirtbags at ten pm. 

Pulling out his phone as he flies home:

“So can’t use the same bullshit excuse twice. Ideas?” - D

“How badly did you fuck up?” - S

“Give him some credit!” - T

“Seriously though, do we need to stage someone’s end or some shit?” - T

“Wow, with replies like that it’s almost enough to make me W I was back with our unlovable frootloop” - D

“WHAT!!!” - S

“YOU INVOLVED HIM!!” - S

“Dude......now I'm the one who’s gonna have to call you an idiot” - T

“He was useful!” - D

“.....” - T

Danny groans and shakes his head, typing without even looking at his screen and muttering, “I know it’s hard to believe but he’s not the worst thing. Like I could have been really dumb and went and asked the Observants what’s up”. 

Looking back to his phone with a shake of his head: 

“IDIOT” - S

“DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!!” - S

“Never mind of course you fucking do” - S

“IDIOT” - S

“You’ve done it now dude, double idiot” - T

“Ok he figured some shit out, which I may have had a hand in. Since he may have not found out if I hadn’t thrown him a bone. So he was already invovled anyway” - D

“Wow ok, I look away for seconds and y’all assault me” - D 

“Guess I’ll die” - D

“*four seconds” - T

“Did I fucking stutter Tuck?” - D 

“IDIOT” - S

“But less so” - S

“Still an idiot tho” - S

“An idiot I may be, but poorly dress I am not” - D

“Dude what?” - T

“...Did Pan change again?” - S

“Oh shit dude! If so then you better get your ass here!” - T

“I don’t know Tuck, y’all seem pretty content to rip me a new one” - D

“Anyway you’re wrong” - D

“Aww common man” - T

“*come one” - T

“Fuck” - T 

“*come on” - T

“What happened Danny?” - S

“Of all the things I learned today, that I am more suited to a bow tie than a regular tie, was not one I expected” - D

“🤨” - S

“How’d you wind up with a bow tie?” - T

“Wow, don’t even get words from sammykins” - D

“🤬” - S 

“😤” - S

“🙄” - D 

“😎” - T

“....” - D

“How the fuck does that fit Tuck?” - D

“Anyway” - D

“🖕🏾” - T

“You know what?” - D

“Duck it” - D

“🦆” - T

“FUCK” - D

“Fuck the duck” - D

“🕴🏻” - D

“What” - T

“🕺🏻” - D

“😮” - S

“🤡?” - S

“What’s going on?” - T

“🤵🏻” - D 

“🤦🏻♀️” - S

“😅🤩👌🏻” - D 

“Huh? I’m so confused” - T

“👔” - D

“😑” - S 

“A dress shirt?” - T

“👏🏻” - D

“You’re supposed to be the smart one and I’ve run out of emojis that work” - D

“So a floating guy, dancer, guy getting married and a shirt? The fuck?” - T 

“☹️” - S 

“This is just sad” - D

“Tuck fuck” - D

“what do they have in common” - D

“🤫” - S

“🤐” - D

“Fuck y’all” - T

Danny tilts his head back and laughs, “this is fucking ridiculous”. 

“🖕🏾” - T

“😉” - S

“Wait” - T

“WHAT” - T

“Oh shit Tuck used all caps” - D

“YOU FUCKER” - T 

“How, why, who” - T

“I have so many questions” - T

“My money’s on Vlad” - S

“Oh speaking again are we?” - D

“🖕🏻” - S

“🧛🏻♂️” - S

“Wow” - D

“But yes” - D

“Yas” - D 

“😑” - S 

“Get your ass over here” - T

“And where would “here” happen to be?” - D

“🖕🏾” - T

“My house you ghost fuck” - T

“👻” - D

Danny shakes his head before promptly having to jerk backwards as a purple ectoblast whizzes past him, “hey! Watch the digs!”. 

“Phantom?!?”. 

Danny snaps his head to the side and there’s Red, slowly lowering her Bazooka and standing on her hoverboard, “who the fuck else?! What? You miss aiming at my ass? I know it’s nice and all but-”, Danny gets cut off by having to dodge another shot, though it was obvious he was meant to dodge it. 

“The Hell you wearing? Where’s the jumpsuit?”, Red slowly floats towards him, not sure what to make of this especially because it looks damn good and he looks much older. 

Danny spins around to fully face her and floats tall and straight, hands on his hips, “nice huh? But blame Vlad. Frootloops got a thing for suits and got his hands on me”. 

“Wow...he really is obsessed with you”, Red shakes her head, “first you tell me you’re a goddamn ghost king and then fuck off. Then you show back up in an extravagant suit and wait, are those fucking emeralds?!”.

Danny nods causing Red to gape even more. Before waving her hands back and forth, “woah woah, did you go and get political advice from him? I mean yes he’s experienced but seriously? You consider him crazy yourself and he’s not a good person”. 

Danny shrugs exaggeratedly, “he has his uses, occasionally. And I never do exactly as anyone says. Like seriously, do you really think I heed peoples advice? I just potentially consider it, maybe adapt it to work for me”. 

Red mutters, “clearly”, as she glides closer to him and brushes the velvet, making the green shimmer, shimmer more. 

Danny watches her with an amused raised eyebrow, before he rubs his neck and looks around, “kinda have to do that here and I didn’t say a ghost king, Red”.

Red snaps her eyes up to lock with his, which he does hold, as she stiffens her whole body, “what?”.

“I said the Ghost King”, Danny summons out his crown. Flicking the floating glowing green flaming thing, making it wiggle in the air slightly. 

Red’s still blatantly confused but clearly much more suspicious as she snaps slightly, “what?”. Before staring at the crown, chuckling slightly, “well that’s not flashy at all, not plastered in jewels at least”. 

Danny chuckles with a nod, “yup. Matches my eyes. Ectogreen with a burning passion”. 

Red groans as Danny points over to a roof before floating lazily over and sitting down. Patting the ledge for her to come sit, talking as she glides over, “there are many ghost societies, many leaders too. FarFrozen Chief FrostBite, Draco Queen Dora, so on. No one says FrostBite FarFrozen Chief, or Dora Draco Queen. Title is always first, the title defines them to a degree”. 

Danny pauses, guessing she’s got a question, he’s glad to at least have some ability to read people now. “So what’s your title? What place to do you rule or whatever”, shaking her head, “I can’t believe you rule anything”. 

Danny chuckles, “you’re hardly the first one. Vlad literally cried”. 

Red snorts, “that’s sad”. 

“Not really, he literally put tons of effort into trying to take the position, or at least the power of the position, for himself. For me to just come up and be all like”, waving his hands around animatedly, “actually, bitch, that’s mine so fuck off”, shaking his head, “he even got drunk once and chased after me to cuddle the damn cape. Which I did take a photo of and mocked him relentlessly for”.

Red coughs and laughs, “issues. And yet you went to him for advice. And cape?”. Danny nods, summoning out the black velvet cape; the white large flaming collar bursting to life and startling Red. Red pokes at the flames, “now that is actually flashy and over the top, they engulf your entire neck!”. 

Danny nods and tilts his head down at the flames, “it looks way more excessive over this suit. Velvet on velvet is very extra”. Danny grabs one corner of his cape and fiddles with it, rubbing his thumb over the white inner plush lining; before offering it to Red to feel. 

Red, squinting at it while rubbing it herself, “yeah, very extra. That’s the norm for you damn ghosts though. And this, it glows brighter than you do?”.

Danny nods, “course, it, like the crown, is a show of position. The rest of me is just my physical body... and a suit”. Both of them chuckle at that last bit. 

Pointing at Red, “frootloop ain't the only one who threw a fit, though. The eyeballs tried to assassinate me, four times. Then they tried to sabotage my coronation”. 

“Eyeballs? I know I’ve heard you mutter and bitch about them. Not just you, other ghosts too”. 

Danny, chuckling, “everyone hates them. I just extra hate them. They hate me too though so”, Danny shuffles a bit, making the flames of his crown and cape wave around. Stretching his hands up and behind his head, trying not to make it obvious that he definitely saw her eyeballing his chest. The suit did suit him freakishly well, even he pretty well ogled himself. The green shimmer on the white velvet made any movements extremely eye-catching too. Swinging his feet a little, though making sure to not bump the shoes against the wall, “Observants. Thousands of floating eyeballs with cloaks. Bunch of dicks, walking trash fires, sticks up the ass, bags of bullshit. Their our sorta government, like the justice system. But biased, self-righteous, and floating god complex’s. Fuck ‘em”. 

Red coughs and intentionally looks away from him, though a bit amused that ghosts had political dirtbags too, “well alright then, so you’ve got corrupt government too. That actually sucks to know”.

“Try deading it”.

The two sit silent for a bit, Danny watching the stars and Red sneaking glances at him and trying to focus on what he looks like rather than how he looks. 

Red flicks her eyes back up to his face, focusing on annoyance to distract herself, “why do they hate you though? If it’s cause you’re human-friendly then they really suck. And again, what’s your kingdom or whatever the fuck, Phantom”.

Danny sighs and rubs his neck before tapping his chest, “too much power, that’s their problem. They don’t like any ghost that could kick their asses or get in their way. Basically, if you can stop them or control them, they hate you and want you destroyed... or at least weakened or sealed away. They’ll fight against anything that makes me stronger, like getting crowned”, shrugging, “and I already told you. I’m the Ghost King. Phantom The Ghost King-”

Red cuts him off by smacking him over the head, “I thought it was title first!”, grumbling, “and what? Your kingdom’s literally just called ghost? Seriously?”. 

Danny facepalms, “I’m the one exception. Because the title doesn’t define me, I define it. My job, what I do, who I am to my subjects etcetera is up to me. I can do as I please. So no one really says Ghost King Phantom unless they’re being informal”, rubbing his neck again, “my title as the Ghost King. Has nothing to do with the name of my kingdom, technically I don’t have a kingdom at all. Though I could call it that if I wanted. Kingdom just kind of implies everyone’s collected in one specific area, kingdom implies a section. And I don’t rule a section of the Ghost Zone-”.

“Then what the fuck do you rule?”, Red points at his crown before gesturing down his cape, “this is fucking extra if you don’t have a section or whatever”. 

“I was getting to that...”.

Red huffs while Danny shakes his head, amused, “anyway, see here in the human realm, you’re not really interconnected, you humans have all your different countries. All ruled separately but working interconnectedly. Supporting each other, alliances, trades, immigration. No one rules over all other humans, there is no one singular justice system or laws. Meanwhile, all ghosts are interconnected, through the Ghost Zone’s very essence and ectoplasm. Yet ghost societies, kingdoms, tribes, clans etcetera all live separate. They could hire outside help but otherwise, they’re on their own. Immigration isn’t a thing. And I already mention the eyeballs. But the vast majority of ghosts don’t belong to any ghost society, effectively free from any rules or leader. You can probably see how that could be an issue. A good eighty-four percent of ghosts just running free-range? No laws beyond the really major ones? No ruling leader they can turn to or rely on? Not gonna go well”. 

Red nods and crosses her arms, curling in on herself a little, “you spooks are already too lawless and wild”. 

Danny chuckles, free was simply the way of ghosts, ghosts didn’t do well with strict control or tons of restraints. But at the same time they did need some kind of structure and focal point ruler. Smirking at her, “as we’re meant to be. Death is a freeing thing, don’t know ‘bout you but, already had to go through bullshit existence being constrained by laws once, I’ll pass on that for my second existence. Just need some base structure and guidelines, focal point ghosts. Even for the free-range ghosts”. 

Red glares up at him, “I think you could do with more, but point. Forget most you bastards were living humans or animals once”, shuffling a little, “so what? There’s like a “free-range” ghost leader? You?”, shrugging, “eh guess that makes sense, you’re always here so I guess no way you’re ruling some specific clan, or whatever, of ghosts”. 

Danny rubs at his neck, “heh, not quite”, adjusting to cross his legs, “all the free-range ghosts fall under me, yeah. But it’s more than that actually. Basically, ghosts, unlike humans, have a universal leader. One ghost who stands above every other ghost and rules the entire species. Rules the entirety of the Ghost Zone. The Ghost King, the king of all ghosts. Me”. 

“What the fuck Phantom”, Red stares at him for a bit before realising he’s serious, “WHAT THE FUCK PHANTOM!”. 

Danny lifts his hands up in a show of defeat and trying to pacify her, “yeah yeah, it’s a little much. Yeah I know. Try being a teenager, who's only been a ghost for two years, who just got told that they’re now king of an entire species and dimension because they beat the crap out of some old asshole that teleported their town into the Ghost Zone. Oh and that they don’t have a say or choice in it”. 

Red mutters, “I thought you said you could do as you please”. 

Danny nods and shuffles a little, “and I can but, regardless of what I do in my existence, my title is attached to me. Just means I can basically choose how involved to be, what responsibility’s I’m going to take on. That shit. I could literally just fuck off and do nothing at all, leave everyone to their own devices”, chuckling, “even I wouldn’t respect myself if I did that though”. 

Red deactivates her visor and glares accusingly at Danny, “Phantom...why the fuck do ghosts come here?”.

Danny knows full well she’s asking about the trouble maker ghosts, not any of the ghosts that come here to speak to him. “Uh, cause it's just what ghosts do. I mean, I could order ghosts not to but just no. I don’t make orders unless it’s an absolute necessity”, Danny stands up and stretches out his arms a little. Lowering his arms and chuckling at the velvet, muttering, “still weird”. 

Red looks up at him, unable to not eyeball the cape as it billows and waves around him, “I’m not sure if I’m pissed at that or not...just how much power do you have?”. 

Danny knows he has too damn much, but technically the power of the Ghost King was too much by default. Shrugging at her, “and I’m not sure if I could really make it make sense to a human. And you won’t like the answer to that question”. Really, Danny’s not sure if his friends actually understood why he didn’t just order ghosts around. Danny knew his orders, commands, or calls simply could not be disobeyed so long as he didn’t go mad. His Kings Speak was a downright cruel trump card to use on other ghosts. So he didn’t. His obsession rejected it, because he had to protect everyone, including from himself. 

“I want the answer, Phantom”, Danny looks down at her, her eyes bold and defiant. Nodding strongly at her, which she blushes? at, “well, in that case, I’m just gonna mindfuck you”, shrugging exaggeratedly with a playful smirk, making the cape sway around a bunch more. He was being a bit of a little shit here and yeah his power did qualify as terrifying, he’s a fool to deny that. Heck, she’ll probably change her opinion on how scary he is after this, “the answer is, infinite. I have access to as much power as I want. My power is a bottomless well. I could transport the entire human realm into the Zone and then collapse it, if I wanted. I could implode the entire Ghost Zone and destroy every ghost and human with a couple words. Technically anyway. In theory”. 

Red gapes at him before staggering up, Danny subtly manipulates some latent ectoplasm around her so she doesn't tetter off the edge. Knowing full well that her acute mercury poisoning and Cereulide toxicity were screwing with her balance some. Smiling softly at her, aiming to be less startling, “you remember my obsession? Protection? I literally can not do serious or prolonged harm, my obsession wouldn’t allow for it. So while I can technically destroy the world, my mind and body would never let me. I’d self destruct first”. While it was kind of weird his body being able to override him like that, he was glad. Sure part of why he was glad is because it meant everyone was protected from him but still glad all the same. Though it still haunted him that his obsession could get corrupted, that if he failed it, he could drive himself to corrupt it. Yet at the same time, knowing that he knew what would corrupt it, that fusing with another ghost with an opposing obsession would fuck him up, his obsession wouldn’t let him go down that path. And he personally wouldn’t willingly go down it himself, because just fuck no. 

Red mutters at him, “what the fuck Phantom. I guess, I guess I’m really glad your obsession is what it is. Is so damn good. But what if, if you changed? Went bad? Would it still stop you? Force you to be all helpful and shit”. 

Danny’s fucking glad it is too, even if his friends gave him shit for it, “uh, ghosts don’t really change like that. Once we mature, our cores, we become more or less stagnate. Never changing unless madness occurs or a thing I’m aware of that I won’t talk about to avoid people getting ideas. To protect people from their potential dumb decisions. Madness though, that comes with a loss of control. The previous Ghost King went mad, that’s why he was possible to seal, to defeat. No more access to true infinite power, to the Ghost Kings power; consider it a fail-safe. But madness, for me, would likely just result in me becoming disturbingly protective. Which would turn into a fucked-up loop of: protect from others, protect from themselves, protect from me. That’d turn into a collision course thing though”, shrugging and feeling slightly disturbed, “pretty sure madness would actually just make me self destruct or shut down. Hard to explain why though, just would”. 

“Remind me to never become a ghost, your obsessions sound downright awful to have”.

Danny watches her flick out her board, smirking at her, “you sure you wanna be doing that?”, Danny rolls his eyes at her glare, “and it’s different when you actually have one. An obsession is always something we cared about strongly in life, it’s something we love and loved. We derive a lot of satisfaction, enjoyment and pleasure from satisfying our obsessions. Like eating a perfectly cooked version of your favourite food after you haven’t had it in years. With its irresistible aroma, but you’d never want to resist it anyway cause it’s your favourite thing. Really, you humans can’t understand obsessions”. 

“I still don’t think I’d ever want to be a ghost”.

Danny chuckles as he pats her shoulder, “and I’d never want to be a regular human. So I guess we’re even”. Sure his obsession was part of why, he’d be less able to protect people. But he’d miss his ghost everything, Ghost King thing included. 

Red shakes her head at him, muttering, “well don’t expect me to start calling you king after this, Phantom”, before trying to fly off. Danny chuckles, “wouldn’t have it any other way Red”, while watching her worriedly. Eventually, she gets off and heads out, though Danny keeps his eyes trained on her for a while, until it’s clear she’ll be able to get herself home safely. 

Pulling out his phone, while sending away his cape and crown, he just flat-out ignores the wall of messages: 

“Got holed up. Got a bucket of red paint, no spilling or splattering though” - D 

“I’ll wake the geek, come” - S 

Danny rubs his neck, he felt a little bad but he didn’t have control over this shit. 

Phasing quietly into Tucker’s room and chuckling as his friends wipe at their eyes tiredly, “I could sleep for a moon too, but I doubt that’s happening soon”. 

Both of them stare at him and eventually start squinting. Tucker staggers up and pokes at Danny’s tailcoat, “dude”. Danny just nods as he yawns, everything catching up with him. He’s got no problem following Sam’s “order” as she pats on the ground for him to sit or lay, he goes with laying. Tucker partially lays on top of him, “this thing’s soft man”. Danny nods into the floor, laying on his stomach. 

Sam whispers, “it glows a bit”. Danny, nodding, “ectoline stitching”. 

"Ah".


	3. The Sheep With Sharp Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't mess with or ignore things you don't understand, Mr. Political dirtbag

Danny’s glad he’s gotten used to sleeping in fucked up positions, though he’s not sure why he decided to bite his wrist in his sleep. Grumbling as he pulls his fangs out of his skin, “must I make myself suffer so?”. Tilting his head to the left to look at Tucker, who’s sleeping with his head against Danny’s shoulder at a near ninety-degree angle. Danny cringes slightly and shuffles away from him a bit to decrease the harsh angle. Before looking to the right for Sam, who’s curled into a ball wedged in between his arm and side; feet over top of his right foot. Danny himself is laying on his stomach one arm at his side, one stretched over his head; legs bent at the knees in either direction with the left dangling up in the air. 

Grunting at the unfamiliar weight on his foot, “‘least the shoes are snug. Shit’s not gonna fall off”. Blinking a bit before glancing at his velvet-covered arm, “heh right, now both half-dead fucks are also fancy suit fucks”. Turning his head back and muttering into the floor, nose smushed against the carpeting, “Vlad might cry if he knew I slept in it”, snorting, “naw, he’d be fucking tickled pink I left it on at all”. 

“Mmmm, who’s getsin tickled?”, Danny chuckles at Tucker’s groggy voice, “and fucks whys you talkin to self?”. 

“Who else is gonna?”.

For that Tucker whacks him on the head lightly before pushing himself up, “I’m nots imaginaries, dude”. 

Danny points at him before stiffly pushing himself up as well, making sure not to jostle Sam in the process. Cracking multiple joints as he goes, shaking himself out some, “you were asleep doe”. Tucker just yawns and nods in response. 

Danny stretches out some in front of Tucker’s mirror, while Tucker heads downstairs to get them food. Tucker comes back up to find Danny just staring at himself, but can’t help but stare at him as well, “dude fuck, right, suit”. Walking over and handing him a bowl, “you look like you could crush me and I’d enjoy it”. 

Danny coughs and sputters, before composing himself, “Tuck? The fuck?”.

Sam mutters from the floor, “he means you look sinful and like a god attempting to dress like us mortals”. Tucker just nods and points at her as he crunches away on his cereal. 

Danny looks back to the mirror and raises an eyebrow, before fiddling with his white hair, “I mean, I guess? Vlad, the creep that he is, said it was tailored exactly to me in body, mind and status...and I am a king. The king of kings really. And fuck is it good your parents never barge into your room”. 

Tucker grunts to the affirmative as Danny sits on the floor to eat, legs crossed. 

Sam looks between the two boys and mutters, “what? Where’s mine? Asses”. 

“You take yours with almond milk, I’m not touching that”, Tucker shudders while Danny rolls his eyes before phasing his left hand into the wall and tossing out a box of organic pop-tarts at her. Tucker raises his eyebrows at that, “dude, why, of all things, did you stuff pop-tarts into my walls?”. 

Danny rolls his eyes and gestures at Sam, with his spoon in his mouth. Sam smirks as she rips open one of the packages, pointing the pop-tart at Danny, “this setting is utterly absurd with that suit. It looks as boisterous as Phantom acts. You’re all soft glowy white, the green shimmer is basically highlighting your muscles, and just how many layers is there?”

Danny grunts, “it’s a six-piece, which I’m pretty sure Vlad just created”, chuckling, “and that’s kind of the point, apparently. Energetic and wild is me. Suit’s supposed to match personality”. 

“Oh powerful one of wild abandon, whatever would you do without that being known”, Danny snickers and rolls his eyes at Tucker’s sarcasm. 

Tucker walks over and takes Danny’s bowl, “least the colours are very you. White, black and green; the gray makes it less extreme looking too, especially with that pattern”, before he turns to head downstairs. 

Danny’s got to agree with him on that, Danny knows his black and white look was rather harsh, especially with his ghostly glow. And throwing gray into the mix just completed the monochromatic look while also softening the harshness of pure white and pure black, throw in splashes of green to match his eyes; which were normally the only spot of colour on him. Shaking his head because man did Vlad think of everything and clearly the man had been thinking over the suit's design for a long ass time. 

Blinking, Danny tilts his head and sniffs at Tucker just before he’s fully out the door, picking up on an unfamiliar scent. Scrunching up his eyebrows as Sam asks, “what? Tucker stink?”, while Danny just tries to place the scent. Promptly face palming, been a while since anyone’s had the Black Plague. But the other things explain why the scents so odd, malaria and Batrachotoxin. Malaria barely had a scent but it made everything else smell oddly bitter. 

“Hey? Earth to space boy? Mr. Kingy?”. Danny blinks and shakes his head, just as Tucker comes back in, “naw he doesn’t stink, just a scent I didn’t recognise”.

Tucker rolls his eyes, “what? I’m not allowed to smell a certain way now? Overprotective much”. Danny has to bite his tongue to avoid flat-out telling the guy he’s got the freaking Plague. Only rolling his eyes instead. 

“So dude, up. Let’s check this shit out”, Tucker waves his hands up and down, signalling for Danny to get up. Sam gives Danny her hand and practically yanks him up as she talks, “and just what did Vlad worm out of you in return for helping him. Though yes, the suits nice. Creepy, but nice”. 

Danny points at her, “only creepy because it was from Vlad and that it was already completely bespoken before I even got there. I forget that man knows my body measurements to a freakish degree”. Muttering as he fully rights himself and pats down the tailcoat some, “I mean this thing is exact, in literally every way”. Pointing at Sam again, “getting me into a suit was what he wanted actually, though I had to wear it to get him to actually talk”. 

Sam snorts, hand on her hip, “so he wanted to play dress-up? Somehow that’s more weird than him asking for a favour”. 

Danny just nods as he’s eyeballing his friends while they start walking around him and prod at the clothing randomly. Tucker pokes at the bit of waistcoat peaking above both the suit coat and tailcoat, “dude, if it wasn’t for your frosty ass being, well, frosty, you’d be fucking overheating”. Danny nods before snickering, unbuttoning the tailcoat and sliding it off. Not surprised in the slightest they instantly try it on. 

He can’t help but laugh at Sam in it though, she’s basically swimming in it, she glares at him, “muscle-bound idiot”. 

Tucker tilts his head at Danny, “huh, the suit jacket looks kind of familiar...”.

Danny nods, “yeah, Vlad pretty well said he designed it after the suit jacket I was wearing when we first met. Except in mandarin style rather than having a lapel, which yeah, suits me better”, patting at the suit jacket, “twill patterned black, double-breasted, and made of wool. Though it’s expensive wool or some shit”. 

Sam and Tucker glance at each other before looking at Danny, all three speaking in unison, “creepy”. 

Sam shrugs, “well at least you could pass it off as being relatively normal”. 

Danny nods, “really without the tailcoat and swapping out the dress shirt, it’s normal passing. Maybe ditch the vest too, for anything not fancy”. 

Both them look at him disbelievingly so he buttons up the mandarin suit jacket fully, effectively hiding everything but the top of the dress shirt neck and bow tie. It’d look bulky if the vest wasn’t satin. Doing mild jazz hands after transforming back human. 

“Well damn. Alright then Danny, makes you look young yet clearly still an adult. Bit of an industrial or stylised military feel to it”, Danny rubs his neck a bit at her clearly approving tone. It does have a bit of a carefree feel to it while also making him look like the guy in charge, like he could kick someone's ass. Plus it not being in the typical style meant it would stand out, which he both liked and disliked. Having attention drawn to him was something he avoided but he wasn’t going to be wearing a damn suit randomly. He wasn’t Vlad. But this’ll probably get a lot of looks at grad or anything like that. Because no way was he wearing his crappy old suit, he’s not even sure if he’ll ever wear that one again, honestly. If he needs to wear a suit, might as well wear one that actually fits and falters him. 

“Man fuck, you should wear form-fitting shit more often”, Tucker grins widely as he sits, nearly yanking on the tail of Danny’s tailcoat which Tucker is currently wearing. 

“Tuck, there’s a reason I don’t do that shit”, snickering, “and clearly I’m the only one here who’s used to having long ass shit trailing behind me”. 

Tucker mutters into his hand while he’s playing with the tail of the tailcoat with the other hand, “you and your damn cape, too bad we can’t try that on”. 

Danny shakes his head, about to respond as his phone goes off:

“Huston do we have a problem?” - J

Danny runs his hand through his hair, muttering, “oh yeah fuck, right”.

“Now what dude?”, Tucker groans from a chair. 

Danny chuckles awkwardly, “it’s Jazz, was supposed to actually go home last night”.

Responding to the text:

“Rogers a-ok” - D

“Was just a sleepy dumbass, slept at Tucks” - D

“Then you better get here, mom says you were expected home” - J

“Yeah...” - D

“Can’t stay long though” - D

“Didn’t get done what I wanted to cause of fanged fuck” - D 

“What did he do now? And I’ll let mom and dad know you’re on your way home” - J

“Appreciated” - D

“And let’s just say that he’s, involved” - D

“But still a creep and still fond of suits” - D

“Well I hope that works out, just be careful. Little brother” - J 

“Yeah yeah” - D

Danny shakes his head, “well my parents are not pleased”. Glancing over at Tucker, Danny chuckles, “you’re just going to lounge in that till I take it away from you, aren’t you?”. 

Tucker flips Danny off, “dude, it’s fucking comfy. Too damn big, but still”, tapping his chin, “maybe I should trick Vlad into making me one”. Both Sam and Danny snort, Danny replying, “Tuck, I'm the one he wants as his creepy evil apprentice, not you. You have nothing he wants”. Danny rolls his eyes as he gets up, making gimme motions with his hands, “come on, I have to head home and I ain’t leaving it here for you to cover in meat juice”. Tucker groans but relents, handing the tailcoat back over. Danny doesn’t even bother buttoning it up after shrugging it on, “so, what fake thing do you guys want to do today, so I can fuck off and piss off a politician?”. 

“Amusement park”.

“St. Johns BBQ roadhouse”. 

Danny rolls his eyes while Sam gives Tucker a disgusted face, Danny puts his hands on his hips, “well pick one”. Pointing at Sam, “and can you really spend all day at the amusement park? There’s not much to do there, especially when we’ve all been on everything hundreds of times”, shrugging, “and the roadhouse does have veggie options”. 

Sam groans and flops back into a beanbag chair, “fine”, while Tucker first pumps. 

Danny gives them a two-finger salute before transforming, jumping backwards and flying off; blinking out of visibility shortly after. 

Danny slips invisibly into his room. Promptly going to phase off his suit and then facepalming when it doesn’t work, “right, ectoline. Gotta take it off like a regular fucking human”, tapping on his chin, “or like my natural jumpsuit”. Squinting then, “but I phased the suit sleeve into a wall?”. Staring incredulously at the tailcoat sleeve, before phasing his arm though his desk lamp, “ok? So what? Just doesn’t phase through me? Literally like my jumpsuit?”. Shaking his head and looking down at his shoes, “and they’re already dirty”. Getting an idea, Danny phases the dirt through/off his shoes. Then tries to phase out of the shoes, which doesn’t work. Smirking, “fucking hell Vladdie”. 

As Danny folds up his tailcoat he pauses and walks over to his bed, staring down at the shiny black suit box. Shaking his head, “fucking wacky idiot”. Putting the tailcoat on the bed and unbuttoning the suit coat as he opens the suit box telekinetically. Eventually getting the entire suit in the box, and phasing the box into the floor. 

Danny walks into the kitchen with a loose but apologetic smile, “hey, um, mornin’”. Maddie instantly puts her hands on her hips, “so you stayed away all night, again, and didn’t tell us? Why?”. Danny rubs his neck, “guess I just got caught up with friends?”. Maddie sighs, “I perfectly understand sleeping over at a friends or even considering it to be too late in the night to come home. But you should have called, even if it was after midnight or later, you should have called”. Danny rubs the back of his neck and looks around some as he responds, “I know, I know. Wasn’t thinking”. 

“Clearly. This is becoming a bad habit Danny”, Maddie shakes her head, “no, it’s been a bad habit for a while. One that we’ve long accepted isn’t correctable. But you could at least try to make an effort”. Jack nods from his spot at the kitchen table, “you’re an adult now, son. While fooling around is one of the joys of life. You’re gonna have responsibilities now”, Jack gets up and claps Danny on the back with a slight smile, “and that’s a great thing! They can make you, and us!, proud”. Maddie nods, smiling at Jack, “like our jobs”, looking back to Danny, “and you, sweetie. But you really do need to put more effort towards what you want to do in life. The sooner you chase after it, the more time you’ll have to enjoy it”. Jack chuckles, “indeed! Just look at me and Mads!”, putting his hand on Danny’s shoulder, “we’re proud and we love what we do. I’m sure you’ll find your something and we’ll be proud of that too!”. Maddie nods, but gives Danny a stern look, “but you have to look for it and work for it”. 

Danny has to resist laughing, the irony of pestering a freaking king about responsibility is almost too good. Though Danny genuinely has no clue what he wants to do in the Human Realm, cause whatever would have to take a back seat to his ghost everything. Though for the last bit of their statement he can’t help but mutter, “don’t be so sure about that”. Danny’s pretty sure they wouldn’t be all proud and shit of the whole Ghost King thing. But thinking on it, they might just be proud of the political crap he was trying to pull right now. Flicking his eyes over to the clock. He really should get going, if he catches Mr. Political scum bag early enough then he might be feeling a bit sleepy. Sure it was a kind of sneaky plan but ghost and sneaky went hand in hand, so it’s whatever. Rubbing his neck, “uh yeah, I know. Life’s a whole lotta responsibilities and it seems best to find responsibilities I actually enjoy bearing the weight of. But I’m good, swear it. I know you guys worry about my future, especially since it seems like I’m just screwing around. I’m good though”. Danny looks around a bit awkwardly, “but anyway, trio’s getting dragged to that meat cook place Tuck loves so much”. 

Jazz sighs and shakes her head as Maddie responds, unimpressed, “you’re going to run off even if we say no, aren’t you”.

“Heh, yeah. Proud sneakin skills”. 

Jack laughs, “well maybe you could use that ‘skill’ for something!”. Maddie shakes her head as Danny finger guns and walks backwards out the front door. 

Danny turns around muttering in ghost, “I already do. As someone’s about to find out”, before flying back up into his room for his suit. 

Holding up the tailcoat and shaking his head, “still over the top but suiting”. Throwing it on as he steps in front of his mirror. Running a hand over the velvet, “least I look the part”, patting his DP underneath the sheer dress-shirt before zipping out the wall. 

It doesn’t take Danny long to track down the guy he’s looking for, shaking his head as he flies into the guys' office. He’d like to think the guy would have at least had some kind of ghost shield. Especially since he was fucking with, or at least a-okay’ed fucking with, a town filled with and protected by ghostly shit. Like, surely this guy knew? The town wasn’t just being left unwatched, was it? Cause that would be really damn stupid, especially with how many lethal things there were in Amity. 

Danny rubs his thumb over the guys nameplate, ‘Seth Aeron’. He can’t help but chuckle, “dark as fuck name buddy”. Danny decides to snoop around some, maintaining his invisibility. Not exactly surprised when sticking his hands through the walls results in finding a hidden door. Shaking his head, this screamed evil asshole. 

Slipping inside, he doesn’t have to float down the dark hallway for long before picking up on voices. 

“-m sure this can be...beneficial. That we can make it so”.

Danny snickers and whispers, “well, looks like I’m interrupting something. Nice”. This’ll probably help him actually. The fucker will be distracted and Danny gets to interrupt whatever thing the guy’s doing now. Danny can’t help but be tickled pink at that little piece of petty payback. 

Danny fiddles with one of the tailcoat buttons before cautiously sticking his head through the door, taking in the four suited men. It’s really obvious two of the men are bodyguards or something. Standing all stiff like, while the other two are sitting across from each other. Both Seth and the other man sitting are clearly wearing nicer suits, but the stranger hasn’t even bothered buttoning his dress shirt up and is clearly relaxed. Danny’s pretty sure that this other guy that Seth’s talking with, is not a good dude. He’s pretty sure civil good humans don’t have secret discussions with a large gun strapped to their back. Danny flicks his eyes up to the man standing behind mystery man, counting at least three visible guns. Danny has to resist snorting at how that seemed like he was overcompensating. 

The unfamiliar siting man chuckles, while the bodyguard or whatever behind him tightens his grip on what looks like a machine gun. “You should have already made yourself useful, old man. But I’m sure that you will be, with a little...help, anyway. I’ve heard some rumours”.

Seth quirks an eyebrow, “is that so? Well I’m quite sure there are plenty rumours surrounding one such as myself. I find that you’ll have to elaborate. Otherwise, I’m afraid I won’t have the slightest clue what some lowly pirate could possibly know”.

The other man gestures to his chest, faining insult, “oh now I’m hurt. Using such an, outdated, term for my capabilities. It really shows just how much of an old fool I’m having to deal with”. The ‘pirates’ bodyguard creaks the gun in his hands, prompting the ‘pirate’ to hold up a hand. “Now now, Vector, no need to waste my precious bullets on a guy old enough to be taken out by some silly flu”. Vector nods, “yes, Remiage, that would be a waste. He simply needed the reminder”. Remiage laughs, “I’m certain you don’t need to do that, he’s old, not blind”, grinning cruelly, “that could change though”.

Danny’s got his hand over his mouth, making damn sure he doesn’t start laughing, Seth dying of the freaking flu would just be too damn ironic considering the nightmare of stuff in Amity by his hands. 

Seth shakes his head, apparently unfazed by the threat, “and whatever would I do without my eyes. I’m sure I could make Vector’s here work for me”. Turning his head to the side, “what do you think Lily? Are this Vector’s eyes any good”. Lily nods curtly, the female voice startling Danny slightly, “their colour is lacking but otherwise useful, sir”. 

Danny’s kind of getting bored just floating in the air, though finding out everyone’s names was useful. Looking Lily up and down, a bit surprised Seth’s bodyguard was actually a girl. She hardly looked it, probably wearing a seriously bulletproof vest under the suit. He’s got no clue why she’s wearing a guy’s suit though. 

Remiage smirks, “aww such an insult towards my friend, and from a pretty thing like you”. Lily scowls a bit at him but doesn’t speak. Remiage entwines his fingers and leans closer towards Seth, “excluding all the, pleasantries, those Korean vessels were quite the hassle. And I don’t see much on the table from you, so I ought just take my acquired toys for my own amusements. My little quota for carnage certainly hasn’t being filled...yet”.

Seth frowns slightly, but covers his mouth with both his hands. Placing his elbows on his knees, “and what would your ‘yet’ imply? Regardless, I can assure you that whatever bloodlust you may have, it can be satisfied in a manner appeasing to the both of us”.

“Oh now is that so? Well I certainly don’t doubt it. As I’ve said, rumours are a thing. Though I doubt I really have to tell you that, old coots like you just love their gossip”.

Seth leans back with a smirk, “such is the case for everyone who’s well off or powerful in life. Those like myself have all the time and power to enjoy the finer things, after all”. 

“If you want life’s wonders then might I recommend some light-hearted decapitation”, Remiage chuckles, “all. the blood splatter will do wonders for that poor skin complexion of yours”.

Danny shakes his head, this literally was witty banter. And this Remiage sounded a lot like Skulker, which was oddly comforting. 

Seth’s slight frown at the dig makes Remiage smile as he continues, “but since you’re clearly lacking, not only in the looks department. Sirens sing of your little friend, in all his white-suited splendour, getting his hands on something that peaks my interests”. 

Seth squints but otherwise doesn’t move, “is that so...and what would you offer in the name of satisfying your ‘interests’ and ‘curiosities’?”.

Remiage shrugs loosely, “nothing too fancy. I’ve already got what you want, that is how these things work. My dear dear friend”, he rolls his hand in the air, “I’ve got something you want and you, well, you’ve got something fun. And you know how I like ‘fun’”. 

Danny can’t help but reminisce over Skulker’s idea of ‘fun’. But that just makes him very curious himself over what Seth apparently has. However, the mention of white suits always annoys the hell out of him. Though that makes him even more curious. Deciding that he might want to make his appearance soon, Danny flies back out and makes it look like he lock picked his way past the hidden door. Just in case these guys still didn’t clue in that he was a ghost, if Seth wasn’t ghostly informed then Danny would hold what he is as a trump card that he might not even have to play. Before continuing to listen through the secondary door that the four people are on the other side of. But the things he hears next confirm his suspicions about what these ‘things’ are.

Seth snaps, losing his cool slightly for some reason, “such things are not toys you foolish outlaw”.

Remiage smirks and leans back to look at Vector, “you hear that? ‘things’ he says”. Tilting his head back down at Seth, “you know, Seth, you really should watch your words better. I’m not asking for much, no, just one of the simple animals ones would be plenty of enjoyment”, shrugging, “besides, the more intelligent glowy green things would be like handling some captive. Far too much hassle, I say”. 

Seth huffs, “those things will hardly bring you any enjoyment. You’ll just get destroyed before I can get what’s mine. Besides, I have my own tests to run”.

Remiage waves him off, “oh I’m quite sure you can get more. Or are you too old and tired to catch something that doesn’t even have a pulse? Or more specifically, are your little friends to inept to capture and keep those so-called things? After all, you can’t be bothered to do the hard work yourself”.

“Those like me don’t have to. It’s a sign of the strong to abuse the capabilities of others”. 

Remiage smirks, “ah so they are incapable. How...unfortunate. For you anyway. What I want still stands”, leaning back in his chair and looking around nonchalantly, “that is, if you really want that cute little bomb stock hold. Though I think I’ll keep the weapon prints, payment for taking up so much of my precious time”. Remiage laughs, “oh now don’t give me that look! You’re the one who wanted to question my little meagre request! So old man...”.

There’s silence for a bit until Seth speaks up, “the remains, whatever your type actually leaves behind, WILL be collected. In the name of satisfying both our ‘curiosities’, it is only fai-” 

Danny’s knock on the door interrupts Seth. Really he wanted to interrupt earlier but he, in the name of being petty, wanted to cut off Seth, not Remiage. Danny clears his throat and plants his feet on the ground as he hears at least one of them stand up. Danny speaks somewhat loudly at the door, “I’d say sorry for interrupting but...I’m not sorry, not even a little bit”. 

Ivory snaps, sounding to be next to the door, “who are you and how did you get here!”.

Danny tilts his head, “I walked, mostly. As for the who, if you’d open sesame I’m quite sure Seth could tell you that. And hey! Remiage might be interested to say hi himself!”.

Danny restrains a chuckle at Vector speaking, “and why’s that? What could he want with a mystery man?”. Ivory snaps again, “I said identify yourself!”. Seth finally speaks up for himself, “out of my way”. Danny smirks as he can hear someone approaching the door, Ivory scolding the person all the while, “sir! I don’t think that’s- ugh! Why do I try”. Remiage chuckles, “yes that old fool is quite hopeless isn’t he?”. 

Danny puts on a loose smile as the door swings open, Seth on the other side. Danny quickly catches Vector leaning down to Remiage, who whispers about how he’s curious about the newcomer so don’t shoot him. Danny restrains a smirk as he speaks, “boo”, while Seth takes a step back; clearly startled. Danny will give him points for composing himself faster than Vlad does though.

Danny sticks his head in the door and looks at Ivory, “hello Ivory, since I’ve already gotten to say my little joke. The name’s Phantom”. Danny’s face twitches up into a slightly amused smile at Remiage’s chuckling. Pretty well confirming that ‘glowy green things’ were, in fact, ghosts. And that ‘white-suited’ meant the GIW. No matter what Danny was doing, ghosts were always involved. It was almost infuriating actually. 

Danny rolls his eyes at Ivory pointing her gun at him, “don’t waste the bullets”, gesturing around the room, “besides, in this small of a room that would be really loud and annoying. This place has got to have awful reverb”.

Remiage leans towards Vector again, whispering, “I like this one”, before speaking to Danny with one raised eyebrow, “speaking of reverb, what’s with your voice, kid?”. 

Danny walks fully into the room as Seth flops down in his chair, waving at Ivory to lower her weapon. Danny leans against a wall as he speaks, “why don’t you ask the political dirtbag of the hour over here?”. Really Danny just wants to know if the guy actually recognised him and knows he’s a ghost. 

Remiage actually kicks Seth in the knee, “well speak up old man, or are you dropping a threat on me”. Even Danny can easily feel the threat in the end of Remiage’s statement. 

Seth never takes his eyes off Danny, even with the knee kicking and threatening. Which seems to put Ivory a bit more on edge. Seth points at Danny, “you, you’re a ghost. Aren’t you?”. Danny nods with a wide grin, “I got that nail in the coffin quite some time ago. And let me tell ya, four billion volts is quite the way to go. Very shocking too”. 

Remiage and Vector exchange glances, before Remiage speaks, “so you really are real, I had my suspicions”, turning and grinning at Seth, “well with your little ‘visitor’ I doubt you have anything of interest now, old man”.

Danny laughs, “oh if you think I’m coming with you, Mr. ‘Pirate’, not gonna happen. Also yeah, those white suits can’t catch a ghost flu, none the less an actual ghost. Well, they can’t catch and keep anyway”. Both Remiage and Vector laugh, exaggeratedly so. Before Remiage gets up and pats Seth’s shoulder, “maybe I should strike deals with kids instead of old men!”. 

Seth glares, “it’s dead”. Remiage laughs exaggeratedly again, “and so will you be...soon enough”. Ivory steps up, “was that a threat Mr. Lemmage”. Danny snorts, “sounds more like a fact to me. But what do I know? Maybe he’s found the key to living immortality or something. But anyway, I am here for a reason so...”. Danny flicks his wrist to create a chair of ice as he trails off, sitting down before four stunned faces. Danny watches the almost hidden confusion on Seth’s face, pretty well giving away that the guy did not know about Danny’s ice. Which likely meant he didn’t actually really know Phantom. As Remiage flops back into his seat, Danny shakes his head at Seth, “wow, I would have thought you’d have the brains to be aware of the most well known and frequent ghost in all of your little toxin town”. Seth glances around the room, which screams worry to Danny, as he responds, “I know who you are. But I hardly pay close attention to the goings-on in some small town”. 

Danny shakes his head, “see now I hope you’re lying, otherwise, you are really really dumb. That or your ego is almost as big as my unlife is endless”. 

Remiage leans towards Danny, “you two clearly have some ‘issues’ to work out. And seeing as this old man is, clearly, less capable than he lets on”, shrugging, “what with you just slinking your way in here. What say you and I make a little deal, an exchange”. 

Danny chuckles, “you’ve got nothing I need or want. Really, I’m only here because I want something to go away. Something a certain someone is quite involved in”, turning to Seth, “isn’t that right, Seth”. 

Remiage frowns but Vector’s the one to speak, “you clearly don’t understand how this works, you’ve hardly shown any kind of upper hand here”.

Danny crosses his legs and creates a cup of ectoplasm tea out of thin air, “I have the upper hand by my very existence. Y’all bring weapons, I am a weapon. Y’all have to create and test bioweapons and chemical weapons, viral diseases and illness. I am one”, swirling his hand and cup around, “ectoplasm is quite the corrosive and toxic thing after all”. To prove his point Danny spills some of the tea on the floor, which promptly burns a hole through the floor, chuckling, “oops”.

Both Ivory and Vector tighten their grip on their respective guns, while Remiage stares at the floor and Seth stares at Danny. Danny chuckles again, “and of course ghosts ectocontaminate everything around them...living people included”, Danny waves his hand dismissively, “don’t worry though, it’s not harmful. In small amounts”.

Seth squints at Danny, “why do you care, what do you have to gain, from seeking to end this particular project? And why, exactly, should I even entertain the prospect?”. Danny raises an eyebrow, “you know, it’s been a while since I’ve had to hash things out with someone who didn’t know why they should do as I ask, or in this case demand. See this isn’t a negotiation, more of a ‘do it or else’ kind of thing. Secrets don’t always stay secrets after all, and that would be quite ashame, wouldn’t it...”. 

Remiage leans back and slaps his knee, barking a laugh, “wow Seth, don’t know what you did to this kid! But I think we won’t be having any more dealings”. Danny waves him off, “I’m not going to kill him...but I am rather used to dealing with my problems rather...violently”. Remiage stands up and heads to the door, Vector behind. Turning back to Danny, “we’re two of a kind then, but message taken. I’m not about to stick around to play bodyguard or sacrificial lamb to the slaughter for anyone. Least of all an old man who’s got nothing left to offer me”. 

Danny’s tempted to just let him go but considering the guy wanted to get his hands on a ghost animal to have ‘fun’ with. Danny clears his throat, “before you make off, we’re not the same. I’m a punny man, a funny punny man. But I do what I do in the name of protection. If you want to have your ‘fun’ you might find we’ll be meeting again”. 

Danny can feel the frown in Remiage’s voice, “noted”. 

Ivory clears her throat earning a nod from Seth. Ivory speaks up, having been given permission, “so your goal is simply to protect? Why?”. 

Danny smiles, “I care because I care. I guess you could say I’m a good soul, a benevolent spirit. But I know that’s not enough to the selfish kind like you and now that the extra ears have made off, hearing intact”. Danny leans forward, sending away the now drained teacup, “simply put, Amity Park is mine. My home. My lair. And you, your little ‘project’ is threatening and harming what is mine. So you could say possessiveness is another reason, though I’m only possessive to protect and look after them”. 

Ivory huffs, muttering, “no one’s selfless like that”. Danny rolls his eyes at that but smirks, as per usual his obsession was completely misunderstood. He really was a selfless idiot. He wouldn’t even be here otherwise since the whole toxin town thing technically wasn’t harmful so long as ghosties, aka him, kept being around Amity.

Seth mulls over all this for a beat, “regardless of your so-called protectiveness, all human lands belong to human beings. Amity Park is the property of the American government, so it’s not yours to protect. You’ve got no claim other that your personal feelings. The most you can hope to get from this is the people being relocated”. Danny can’t help but smile, crossing his legs again and cupping his hands over one knee, but making sure not to wrinkle his trousers as he speaks, “I’m a ghost. What your government claims to own doesn’t matter. Amity Park is mine. As for your relocation proposal, well, the humans in Amity Park are mine too. My humans”.

“So we are at an impasse then”.

“Hardly, what happens from here isn’t really up to you. Regardless, your project will be stopping. You just get to pick the fall out”.

“Fall out? No, you’re the one who wants here. You have to convince me, child”.

Danny chuckles, “nope”, popping the ‘p’, “as expected, you underestimate me. Well to throw you a bone, I’d recommend against treating me like some kid. Firstly, I’m not a kid. Second, it’s you who has to convince me to not oust your dirty little operation”. 

“And would you, a ghost, be believed? Hardly. Even if all of Amity Park did or select groups of people, it would change nothing. You claiming ownership over humans would cause far more distaste”, Danny doesn’t miss Seth’s cruel smirk or the fact that that was a threat. 

Danny chuckles, “I’m quite well known and liked. Even worshiped some. Pretty much Spider-Man. Being believed is hardly a worry of mine”.

Seth squints, “the ‘hero’ of a small town is nothing. Your word against mine can’t hold up”.

“I don’t know about that, politicians are never really well-liked”. 

“You’re not even human. You’re not alive. People will believe their own before an outsider. An American family man with years of serving his country, will always win out over an inhuman creature of unknown origin”. 

Danny knew he was right about that, his parents made that really obvious. But Danny smiles anyway, “I’m American all the same. My origin is hardly unknown, especially in Amity. And I’m a man with years of serving my town, tooth and fist. All that proves your ‘good’ will for the people is words. Words lie, actions don't. I have actions and I can give actions”. 

Ivory tightens her grip on her gun, glaring daggers at Danny. He didn’t really blame the girl for being overly paranoid, Danny was a major unknown and a walking weapon, more or less. 

After a beat, Seth smiles slightly and clasps his hands in front of his mouth, “I have others words to back me, if need be. You have nothing. Actions can be fake, selfish. You’re just a ghost trying to gain a foothold in human society to claim rule over earth. Nothing more and that’s all you’ll be seen as”. 

Danny sighs and shrugs, he did have a feeling just threatening to reveal things wasn't going to work; but he did have to try going about this in a more pleasant way. At first anyway, but this guy was just going to public make a villain of him if this became just a war of words. Danny puts his elbow on the chair arm and his chin on his palm, “and there’s the bite of the government dog. Whelp, since you don’t really care for basic reason. That and you clearly missed the bone I threw. I’ll lay it on simple, you’re a political dirt bag; obviously”. This manages to earn a nearly inaudible chuckle from Seth, “and you’re clearly not one and rather young. Though I’ll applaud you for holding your own even slightly”. 

Danny grins wide, clearly unnerving Ivory and there’s slight worry in Seth’s eyes. Danny smiles slightly wider before speaking, “and that’s, that is where you make your mistake; my dear dear friend. To quote your previous ‘visitor’”, Danny chuckles, “you know, Remiage is a lot like a sparring opponent of mine. He loves threatening to skin me, difference is”, Danny leans forward, “he actually tries to. So don’t really expect me to be all that threatened by you”. Danny rolls his wrist, and continues, “back to the point. Your political standing is fairly high, but when a president speaks you consider their words and usually follow. Not doing so would be like pulling a tigers tail”, Danny leans forward again, with Seth being more confused now than concerned. Danny starts up again, “and now, well, you’d be flat out biting the tiger if you tried to go against a king”.

Ivory points her gun at Danny again, snapping, “that’s a lie! While your suit is high quality, you’re far too young to hold such a position!”. Danny laughs, “age means nothing with ghosts. Power is what matters. And power is what I’ve got. And to make something very very clear, as many humans seem to make this mistake. I am not A ghost king, but The Ghost King. If you cross me, if you deny me, there is not a single ghost in all the Great Ghost Realm that will refuse to lay you to waste”, Danny shrugs, “not that I’d really need them to. I could easily wipe the whole lot of you out myself”. 

Judging by Seth’s scoff Danny isn’t going to be believed regardless. So Danny swiftly straightens up and pokes Ivory’s gun, making all the bullets phase-out and onto the floor. Before teleporting right behind Seth’s chair. Leaning down and phasing partly through part of the back of the chair, while Ivory jumps and fiddles with her gun. Danny chuckles, “see you’re here with what is, for all accounts and purposes, the most powerful being this planet has to offer. The ruler with the largest army possible. The one person who has anything close to true immortality. You don’t have the option of saying no. Amity Park will stop being a government experiment. Your options are as follows, old man: have Amity Park being once used as a government experiment kept a secret. Or get the crap kicked out of you until you agree. Or get Amity Park being what it is revealed and get the crap kicked out of you and possibly start a war. Or start a war, a war with an entire dimension and species. A species composed of highly durable super-powered creatures that spend most of their afterlives getting into fights and maiming each other for fun. A species whose king could simply destroy everything with the wave of a hand, or alter everyone’s memories with the snap of a finger, or well, really I can do anything so let your imagination run wild. Infinite power means infinite possibilities and I’m a creative one”. Danny taps his chin as he straightens up, “huh, I’m monologing. Like villain monologing, how fitting”, shrugging, “well really you’re the villain he-“. Danny gets cut off by Ivory stabbing him, looking down at the knife which he had just let phase through him, “yeah that’s not gonna work. Props for being sneaky though”. Danny might have been mad if she’d managed to actually stab him or damage the suit, because that would just be sad. To wreck his suit the first time he genuinely used it.

Danny floats to sit back down, phasing through both Seth’s chair and Seth in the process while Ivory stares at her knife. Danny clears his throat, “soooo. What’s it gonna be? Leaving here with the shake of a hand or pain, lots of pain. Potentially for lots of people, people who are not my people”. Danny can see there’s still hesitation in the man, so Danny let’s his eyes blaze aggressive green in a show of ‘anger’ and fries the lights, so that all that lights the room is Danny’s ghostly glow and blazing eyes. Danny growls, “I can and will watch the world burn, and you’ll get your place on your bed of nails and cross to be nailed to, and maybe pecked to death just for funsies”. Danny knows this is so not how he’s supposed to do this crap but the guy is pretty much insisting on harming his lair and humans. He’s feeling rather pissy now even if his words are, more or less, empty. 

Getting up and into the guys face a little, “I also happen to be quite informed on all the little nasties you’ve tossed into my lair. And I can carry an awful lot in my pockets. I may have used Anthrax as my threat yesterday, but I’m far less inclined to be nice to you. Botulism, pneumonic plague and Hantavirus would work nicely”. Seth instantly puts up his hands, speaking with forced calm, “now I’m sure that won’t be necessary. I’m certain things could be shut down”.

“Is that so? Well then, even though I’m enough of a glow bug, enlighten me”.

Seth nods awkwardly while Ivory stands stiff, officially feeling rather useless against the guy who seems more like a god than a deadman. 

Seth clears his throat, “any further planned testing could be halted and anything currently in the works could be cancelled”.

Danny laughs, “oh you can certainly do better than that. Don’t go ghosting me here on the good stuff”.

Ivory pales slightly, Danny easily hearing her mutter, “the guy jokes about his own demise and being dead. Does this creature bask in death...”.

Danny smiles, which in the dark they can barely see, “I’m the king of the dead. The ruler of death. What do you expect? If you die, then that’s just another ghost under my command”. Danny has to school himself from blinking over his own words in mild disbelief. Sure he was toying with her and the man but that was dark and a fair bit cruel. 

Seth gulps, “yes indeed. The project will be shut down and Amity Park...Amity Park is yours, Mr...Phantom”. 

Danny flops back down in his chair, crossing his legs, “now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Oh and just so you know, all the data you’ve collected from your little pet project is utterly useless. This is a complete loss for you”.

Seth snaps, losing his cool again. “what! What do you mean?!?”.

Danny chuckles, “don’t you know? I’ve long since made the place immune to such things. All you’ve been doing is making people smell funny...well, and wasting money”. Danny wasn’t telling the real truth, but why the fuck would he? Danny wags a finger at him, “tsk tsk tsk, this is why you always watch what you claim is yours. Even if you think of it as just a plaything. Otherwise, someone will give you a very cold fist back into reality”. Purely for the joke Danny let’s ice and frost spread around his chair of ice and his feet. Chuckling, a bit amused at Ivory’s sudden shiver. Dropping the room's temperature more, just enough to elicit a shiver from Seth as-well. Before standing up, creating a portal and pulling through all the necessary paperwork. Some that needed to be destroyed, some that needed to be signed and one ghostly one that needed to be consumed; made safe for a human of course. 

Both them gape at Danny as he leans down and holds out the two stack of paper, with one rolled under his arm. Danny chuckles, “don’t worry, they won’t bite. Just your run of the mill paperwork, the bane of all us politicians existences”. 

Seth takes them and gapes obviously realising that Danny had done his research and obtained things that no human really could. Danny sits back down letting the man do his thing and firmly enjoying watching some paper-based destruction. While the man’s signing away, Danny chuckles down at the shredded bits of papers; smirking as he lights them all on fire. Causing both the humans to jump, Danny shrugs, “if you’re going to destroy something, might as well do it with a burning passion”. 

Eventually, Seth says, “alright. What’s done is done...I can send in decontamination units, if you’d like?”. Danny waves the man off, pulling out the final rolled up paper from under his arm and tapping it on his knee as he responds, “no, I’ll take what’s needed and use as I please. No need to sully your weathered hands. But...there’s still one little thing”. Danny whacks the rolled-up paper loudly against his leg, drawing attention to the slightly glowing paperwork. 

Danny smiles and chuckles as Seth looks at it, answering his question before he even asks, “you are dealing with a ghost here, and a ghostly lair. Surprise surprise, we’ve got paperwork too”, swirling the paper roll in the air, “who’d have thought, paperwork for the dead! And so many off themselves to avoid it in life...”, chuckling, “only to see it again in our horrifying seas of green”, flicking the papers, “don’t worry though, there’s hardly any. Just the occasional little bit, that and watching you have to eat some paper is just too good to pass on”. 

Ivory grimaces while Seth responds, “hold on a minute. Eat?”. Danny nods enthusiastically before unrolling the papers. Signing the papers himself with some latent ectoplasm that’s built up in the air since he’s been here, “sign, tear, consume. Give word, give violence, give body. ‘To speak onto desires, destruction carves the path true and with that one must take it into their very being’”. Danny can’t help but smirk at the slight shake in Seth’s hand, the guy fucked with his town, his lair, his humans; fucker deserved a dose of fear. 

Regardless, Seth still signs. Moving to give back the papers which Danny promptly tears in half while Seth’s still holding one end. 

Danny leans back with his half, watching Ivory flinch and Seth stare at the papers for a beat before Danny speaks, “and now, we dine. I like mine with ketchup and relish. Very fitting after all. Like the blood I used to have and the ectoplasm I now have”. Danny chuckles creating bottles of both to use and creating a small ice table to set them down on, once he’s done with them. Sure, he actually hates relish but it was worth the joke. 

Shoving his half, which would be slightly soggy now if it was normal paper, into his mouth; motioning for Seth to do the same. Danny’s chewed and swallowed his pieces during Seth’s bout with hesitation. Danny speaks up, deciding to give Seth some friendly encouragement, “I’d hurry up if I were you, otherwise I might have to get a little, handsie, with you”. Danny interlaces his fingers in front of his mouth, easily seeing the guy needed a bit more pushing, “as in, I’ll stuff it down your throat”. That seems to do the trick as the guy awkwardly puts ketchup on it and eats it. Though it’s obvious he’s forcing down a grimace as he swallows. 

Danny claps his own knees before standing, “whelp! That’s that! Now I’d like to say we’ll likely never see sticky human sweat or bright ghostly glow, of each other again. But who knows! Might be more little games and playthings up under my crown. Or maybe some laws that need to be swept away by my cape”. Danny allows both to flicker into visibility for a second, making both jerk. 

Seth nods stiffly, “yes, one can never be too prepared or cautious”. Danny gives a grin that’s a cross between shit-eating and malicious, “when doing things such as what you’ve been up to especially. For future reference, don’t think you’re an untouchable god when there are forces at play beyond your most basic understanding”, chuckling, “politicians and men of some form of power, we both may be. But we’re not equal. You’re a sheep whose sharped your teeth. I’m a wolf with fur made of knives and swords for claws, and that’s nothing compared to my bite”. Danny walks silently over to the door, “good day, Mr. Aeron. Sea of green greet thee and deaths mark to meet thee. With luck grant thee unseen till sun’s past and moon’s but future. For in time, all be granted mine keep”. 

Ivory seems to be forcing herself to not stutter, “is that a threat”. Danny shakes his head as he sticks his hands in his suit jacket pockets and floats upwards slowly, “nope. Nothing harmful or scary about a simple royal farewell. If you were ghosts you’d respond in kind”. With that Danny phases through the roof but he doesn’t leave just yet. Hanging around to spy on them for a while. 

Danny chuckles to himself as he flies home, all they had really spoken about was being played like damn fiddles and how they really didn’t want Phantom as an enemy. Danny shakes his head, both of them had pretty well stated he’d scared the crap out of them. Sighing, “well there goes the ‘Danny’s not scary’ opinion I sorta had. I didn’t even have to try”, Danny can’t help but frown a little, it was too easy really and to be a ghost was to instil fear. He just didn’t want to be feared. Yet it was, apparently, in his nature. And while he had accepted that ghostly part of himself, his ghost nature, didn’t mean he wanted to be feared. Though he finds he can be quite content with scaring the crap out of political dirtbags. In the human political world, it really was better to be feared than loved by other politicians. Especially dirty politicians of a different species. Even if Danny was half-human, it’s not like they knew that. 

Danny looks up at the sunny sky before flipping out his phone, a bit pleased that it’s only five p.m. before texting his friends. 

“Shit got ghosty, Boxy would start singing my fearsome praises again” - D

“So you’ve finally accepted your fate, oh fearsome one?” - T

“Fuck your sandwich and drown in it, Tuck” - D

“What’s the most threatening thing you said? I so need that for my journal” - S

“Ew, thanks for reminding me of that video” - T

“And yes! Spill!” - T 

“I hate you all” - D

“Not even gonna ask how it went” - D

“Psssh for your information I didn’t even get given hush money” - D 

“Threats, Danny. Threats” - S

“Geez” - D

“I don’t rank my threats” - D

“I’m not some kind of psycho” - D

“Then we’ll take our pick” - T

“Ugh” - D

“I also don’t record shit” - D

“Something about burning the earth to the ground, nailing him to a cross and letting him get pecked to death” - D

“Uh, wiping America out of existence” - D

“Throw the pneumonic plague in his face” - D

“Force feed him paper” - D

“Just told him to be imaginative” - D

“Also burned a hole in his floor with some tea and broke all his lights” - D

“The poor tea” - S

“You monster” - S

“But really” - S

“🤣” - S

“And you claim you aren’t scary” - T

“Shit it” - D

“Shut*” - D

“💩” - T

“I’ll throw pneumonic at you” - D

“Sick” - T

“But that’s a really weird threat dude” - T

“Same with the paper thing” - T

“Like we said, unpredictable” - S

“....” - D

“Neither of those were weird” - D

“Sure....” - T

“Whatever you say Danny” - S

Danny grumbles before shrugging, “well I might as well tell them at this point. Especially since they’re ragging on me”. 

“They were relative!” - D

“And genuine!” - D

“Uh, what?” - S

“While I commend you for using ‘organic’ ‘weapons’ how the heck are either of those relevant or genuine” - S 

“You would seriously give someone the freaking plague?” - T

“Is it bad that I’m more curious about the how?” - T 

“Well...I mean” - D

“I nabbed it off you” - D

“And it’s not that much of a step up from Anthrax” - D

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN FROM ME!” - T

“What is even going on here?” - S

“Ever wondered why you don’t have pupils?” - D 

“DANNY!” - T

“WHAT” - T

“DO” - T

“YOU” - T

“MEAN” - T

“Congrats you made him choke on his ‘food’. Good job” - S

“Uhhh” - D

“Guess I should just show up” - D

“But you’re not gonna die Tuck” - D

“Well that’s a relief...” - T

“Awww” - S

“You’re immune” - D

“HOW THE FUCK!” - T

“Wow this has been a lot of all caps” - D

“Move you idiot” - S

“And what about me” - S

“Immune” - D

“My ass? Immune” - D

“Dead” - S

Danny groans, making them pissy wasn’t really the goal here. 

“Im coming alright” - D

Danny snaps his phone closed and zips off in the direction of the BBQ house.

Danny walks in the wood doors only to hear someone slam their hands down loudly on a table. Tilting his head over and yup, that was Tucker. Danny chuckles as he walks over, “you’re gonna break the table”. Tucker points at him, “you’re the freaky strong one and fuck the table, what about me? The fuck dude?”. Sam nods, sipping a plant shake, “yeah like fuck Danny, way to give him a heart attack. That’s supposed to be his horrible diets job”. 

“Somehow I doubt he’s the first today”, Danny then mutters into his hand, “kinda impressed the old man didn’t just straight up keel over”. 

“Dude”.

“Danny...”.

Danny holds up his hands, “okay okay”, resting his chin in his hand, “well you know how good my senses are? Can tell if you’re sick?”. Sam rolls her eyes, “we’re aware, of course you’d be able to smell what you said Tucker has or had or whatever. But why? And immune?”. Tucker nods and points a fry at Sam. 

While Danny responds, “yeah well, that was that ‘unrecognised’ scent I mentioned yesterday. Though the only reason I didn’t recognise it right away was cause it was one of those cocktail bioweapons. Those are always odd smelling. Especially when Malaria‘s in the mix. Least there wasn’t any bleach bastardisations. Don’t know why those gov dogs got into the kick of the bleach bases. Though I guess it is volatile. Plus I’ll take that scent over mycotoxin any day. And I swear I’m developing a hate boner for codeine”, Danny shakes his head, realising he’s rambling and his friends are staring at him. 

Everyone’s silent for a bit before Tucker mutters, “for once, I wish you had been muttering in ghost”. 

Danny rubs his neck, “heh, yeah. This isn’t really a topic for the public”.

Sam whispers but does so firmly, “be straight Danny, is anyone going to die? Or get a serious illness?”. Danny shakes his head, “immune, everyone. Turns out ectoplasm, even on the small scale of ectocontamination, is immune to such things. Bioweapons, toxins, poisons, moulds. Things for chemical and biological warfare”. 

“Sweet Phantom fuck Danny”, Sam shakes her head, “I mean thanks. The town and all of us wouldn’t be ectocontaminated if..if...”. Sam goes wide-eyed while Danny nods. Clearing his throat but whispering, “yeah”. Tucker shakes his head, “so if you hadn’t died then what would’ve happened?”. Danny forces a wide grin and twitches an eye, “we’d be fucking dead by now”. Both Sam and Tucker cringe. Sam shakes her head muttering, “aaaaaand that’s a check on making Mr. Protective, protective”. Danny hisses, “obsession”. Which they both roll their eyes at.

After leaving the diner, Danny carries them through the air, invisibly of course, “so Amity Park was a secret government and military testing grounds for biological and chemical warfare. So many different concoctions have popped up I’ve stopped naming them. The entire reason my family moved here was to test what qualified as potential chemical weapons, ectoplasm specifically. They got their grant but only if they tested things and kept them in a town called Amity Park. Because it didn’t matter if it had a negative impact on the town or its people, they were all scheduled to die anyway”, Danny scoffs, “people aren’t exactly supposed to survive mustard gas, anthrax, or that special strain of Cordyceps fungi”, Danny growls slightly, “which showed up over eighteen times might I add”. 

Sam shakes her head, “wait a second Danny. Are you saying everyone, in the entire town, has or had some deadly poison, toxin or parasite? seriously? That our town is a damn war test site? Are you kidding me?”. Danny sighs and grumbles incoherently before nodding, “yup, but the toxin town project is no more now. And I’ll be dealing with the decontamination units myself”, Danny tilts his head back as they phase through Tucker’s roof, “man I would love to see that bastard eat paper again!”.

Tucker pats off his pants, “wait...you actually made him eat paper?”. Danny nods, “I tell you that you should be dead many times over because of government scum and that’s what you care about?”.

“Honestly dude, this shit is expected in your half-life at this point and-”. Tucker gets cut off by Danny’s phone going off. 

Danny raises an eyebrow and chuckles, “well if it isn’t Vladdie”. Opening up his phone:

“Hey-ho! What’s up Vladdie-O!”

“I’m just curious how your little ‘talk’ went, no need to make me wish I forgot your phone number”

“But that would do nothing but please me! I’d pee gold if you forgot I existed”, Danny laughs as Tucker snorts and Sam gags. 

“I’m...not even sure whether that’s what qualifies as a compliment to you or not”

Danny grins maliciously, “well maybe I could threaten to burn all your fingers off like I did to that government dog”, Danny lets silence hang for a second before chuckling, “I kid, but I did threaten to run nails through them. Just in less words”. 

Tucker coughs, muttering, “that sounds way more malicious than what you told us”. Sam rolls her eyes, “that’s cause he’s talking to Vlad”. 

Everyone’s silent for a bit until Vlad’s voice rings out over the phone again, “did you just completely ignore my advice?”.

“Well no, guy wasn’t exactly bending, like, at all. Was kind of up in a tissy that I wasn’t offering him stuff instead of asking. I mean, you have more patience”

“Coming from you that says a lot actually, Daniel” 

“And I did make it clear I was being protective. But he viewed the lot as gov property so yeah fuck old men”

Tucker coughs, “please don’t, you pull enough disturbing and nasty stuff as it is”.

Vlad grumbles, “I’m going to leave you to your teenage, I mean adult, bickering. Since it’s clear things worked out”. 

“Aww but V-man don’tcha wanna hear bout me vouring legal documents and force-feeding some ol-”, Danny looks down at his phone, “aww, he hung up”. 

Sam and Tucker both fall over laughing, both speaking in unison, “you scared him off!”. 

Danny turns away and huffs, “stop saying I’m scary”, muttering to himself, “even if it’s probably true”. Danny looks up from the ground to stare at the mirror. Looking himself over, fine suit, lean muscles, and a fanged half-smile. Yeah alright, he was fucking scary and his town was a biological, ecological, chemical, environmental and genetical nightmare. But maybe that was ok, some was fixable and others were just a-okay. With that Danny grins wide showing off all of his teeth and chuckles, slightly worrying his friends. 

**End.**


End file.
